As Heaven Breaks
by myonlyheroin
Summary: Edward has given up on love untill a special someone drops into his life. Can she save him when he needs to be saved in so many ways? In order to be true to themselves they most both give up something sacred. will it all be worth it in the end?
1. Chapter 1A Tiny drop of Heaven

I am so sorry that I keep changing this. I just want to make it better. This will be my last change of this first chapter. Not much has changed. Thank you for being patient. I really do appreciate it. Please review. Thanks

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Prologue

I am undoubtedly a damned creature. I am something that God, I am sure, never intended to create, if he even created us at all. I am sure he would abolish our very existence.

I have no soul. I am nothing but a monster. I have no heartbeat, it is only cold venom which flows through my veins. My heart has long since been stilled.

I am a vampire.

I am the one thing humans are so sure is just a myth. Something which was made-up to give little kids nightmares. But, we are real. We are very real.

If there is a God, surely He would bestow some mercy upon me after a century's worth of penance for my sins, my way of life, my very existence. I have come to the conclusion that no such God exists. There are no angels, and certainly no pearly white gates to greet you as you make your way into heaven. This world is nothing but a dimension in which to waste your existence, hoping for an absolution that will never come, believing in what will only let you down.

I am an exceptionally dark creature. selfish by nature. After a century of loneliness that has left my dead heart empty, I have simply given up on love. No monster should be allowed love. But, when I look at my family, I am given a little hope. I will allow myself that much. If they can love then surely so can I. I have seen the love they have for their mates. I have watched it through their eyes. I can see it with every look they cast to the ones they love. That is what I most long for.

Love will never find a monster like me.

None of heaven's creatures could melt my cold heart; break it down, allowing me to feel that human emotion for which I so desperately long.

I really don't know why I long to feel love. I guess I just truly wish my life to be different. I want to want and feel something so completely foreign to me and have it knock me on my ass. I want to know that after all, another creature _can_ love me.

I want my feelings and beliefs tested. I want to second-guess myself and everything upon which I have built my entire existence around. I want to not worry. I long for my existence to have meaning. I am through with just living for myself.

Who knew that I would get my chance to have everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever longed for?

The story I am about to tell you will make you question everything you have thought to never exist. You will see how I perceive love. You will live it through me. You will see love blossom in ways you never thought a creature like me was capable of.

My name is Edward Cullen, and I am going to take you through the last ten years of my life. The last ten years that have shaped the man I am today. The last ten years that have been the happiest of my entire existence. I have many more to look forward to as well.

This is the story of a true love against all odds. This is the story of my Bella and me--a glimpse into our love and our life.

And so I shall begin.

I am going to take you back to the autumn of 2005.

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It was a rather unusually warm night in Forks, Washington, and I found myself searching for an escape. I wanted nothing more than to be away from my family. I just wanted a break. I needed it. The only place that I could find such an escape was in my meadow.

No thoughts other than my own could bombard my brain there. I reveled in the silence.

Were I not an eternal, sleepless creature, the sound of the stream slowly running through my meadow could certainly have lulled me to sleep. I was relaxed. Nothing but me, the trees and the birds. I felt so free, so at peace.

I lay there on the soft grass and closed my eyes. I was enjoying the pleasant sounds of nature, but most of all enjoying the absence of others' thoughts in my head.

The sun was slowly beginning to set. I leisurely sat up, getting ready to head back home when I saw something fall through the trees. I heard the thud when the object hit the ground.

I found my body hesitant to will itself to move. Something deep inside of me told me to move forward--that whatever it was would surely not cause me any harm. I was immortal after all.

I tried in vain to see if I could read any thoughts on whatever was out there. I got absolutely nothing. That had never happened to me before. I'd always been able to read the mind of anyone I've come across. I couldn't read the thoughts of animals, however, so perhaps that's what this was.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself. There I was, a nearly indestructible, hesitant to see what had fallen from a tree in a peaceful meadow.

As I moved closer I discounted the animal theory. I could hear its breath. I could smell the blood that ran through it's veins.

Whatever this creature was, it was injured but mending. The smell of it's blood was so sweet--so impossibly sweet. I had never in my entire existence smelled something so strong. This creature was calling me to it. It wanted to be found, I wanted to run. The monster in me wanted nothing more than to devour that sweet, sweet blood.

I held my breath and slowly pressed on.

Finally, in a clearing I could see the outline of a body. Definitely human, I was sure now. I hovered over the creature. I looked down, and the vision that assaulted my eyes was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

This creature was a woman, a very young woman. Her slender body lay still upon the ground, her long brown hair spread across the grass. The only movement this creature made was the rise and fall of her chest as she took in shallow breath after shallow breath. Her lips held a perfect shape.

All of a sudden I had an unexplainable urge to kiss this beautiful girl. I could not allow that; not while the sweet nectar that was her blood calling to me. I would most likely kill her. That very thought had crossed my mind a thousand times while I stood over her beautiful form, staring and resisting.

I was startled to see the striking creature below me slowly begin to open her eyes. They were a chocolate ocean, so deep and dark. I could drown in them forever, never returning to the surface. I would be fine with that. This beauty captivated me. I couldn't turn away. Not now, not ever.

She was beginning to sit up. I bent down and placed my hand on her upper back to help her. I swear I felt a strong, burning kind of electric feeling as I gently touched her. I pulled her up so she could stand on her own.

I looked down at her feet and saw that she wore no shoes. My keen eyes noted a lone white feather on the ground beside her left foot.

The stunning woman was dressed all in white.

She looked up at me with those doe eyes and, amazingly, she did not flee. Instead she spoke. "You are a vampire. You must be Edward Anthony Cullen?" Her voice was so soft and sweet. I was instantly mesmerized.

How this creature knew what I was, much less my name, I did not know. Something told me that my secret was safe with her. The creature would never tell another soul.

I looked up at her, glancing up and down her body. I stepped closer and still she did not move away. I looked into her eyes. Not a hint of fear.

"Yes, I am a vampire. And yes, my name is Edward Cullen," I said. "How did you know?"

The creature looked up at the night sky, her eyes moving from one star to another. Then her gaze fell upon me once again. She smiled at me and whispered, "I just know." It was as simple as that.

I watched as the creature bent down to pick up the white feather. She gently placed it in my hands. Once my fingers caressed the feather, it disintegrated into a pile of ash. I stood there, facing this being in nothing but complete amazement and wonder. Who, or what, was she?

The beautiful girl was walking now, toward my meadow. She called back to me, "My name, Edward, is Isabella. But, you may call me Bella." Isabella smiled then and all thought fled my mind.

Bella. Beautiful. This creature most certainly lived up to her name. She was _beyond_ beautiful. She was gorgeous.

"What are you?"

Bella stopped walking and turned around to face me, a shocked expression gracing her lovely face. "I thought that you would have me figured out by now, Mr. Cullen. Surely you must be able to read my mind? I am an angel. I am your angel. I was sent here for you." My Angel's eyes searched mine, as if, making sure that what she had just said sunk in.

My jaw dropped and I closed my mouth again. Why would a vampire need an angel?

How could angels exist if no God existed? I was surely denying the existence of heaven and hell. Good versus evil.

No angel should have to protect one of the damned. Surely I did not deserve to be in the presence of such a creature. Why, or rather how, could an angel protect me?

If God and angels existed, then I would have been saved from this damned life that had been cast upon me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't regret it. I just sometimes wished that I had a choice, a choice between life and death. I was living a half life.

I stole a glance over at my angel. She was smiling.

My mind was thinking a thousand thoughts all at once. I did not know what theory I should even believe. To be honest, I could not even pick out one rational explanation. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. How can she be real? If only I could read her mind; then I would have all my answers laid out before me.

I felt a small hand grasp onto my shoulder and shake me a little. "Edward, are you okay? You seem deep in thought," my angel said as her eyes made contact with mine. How could I answer her? How did I tell her I didn't even believe in her? I guessed I would just have to be blunt.

"How can you be real when surely God does not exist? Why are you watching over me? I am damned. Surely angels are not meant to watch over the damned," I said, while I watched for my angel's reaction.

She squeezed my shoulder a little tighter and looked into my eyes. "You may have died in 1918 Edward, but your soul never left. Therefore, I can't ever leave your side. As for believing whether I am real or not, or even in the very existence of God, I guess you will just have to figure that out for yourself. I've got all the time in the world." My angel was smiling that beautiful smile again and for a moment she made me forget all my thoughts, all my worries. The only thing that seemed to remain were my feelings. I would just have to sift through those later.

Please leave a review. I really do want to know what you guys think of my story. I am rather new to fanfiction. So, c'mon give my ego a boost!


	2. 2An Angel Incites an Internal war

I own nothing. sm owns it all. Thank you to everyone that has read so far. I am really sorry that it has taken so long to post another chapter. I am currently in the process of getting this up on twilighted. I have been asked by a few people to do so. Thanks for your patience.

**Chapter 2- An Angel Incites An Internal war**

I felt like a war was raging deep inside of me**,** my mind and heart were battling it out until one conceded and could no longer go on. My mind had always been stubborn, but my heart was already bent on winning.

My heart, even though it no longer beat, wanted desperately to believe that this angel existed. It wanted to faithfully believe in Isabella's existence. Every fiber of my being could not, and would not, deny the presence of my angel. My heart would never relent, never give in and would never give up. It knew what it truly wanted. Its mind was made up the moment my eyes connected with hers. As if I had a choice to begin with...

But my mind, oh, my mind was a mess. My heart was screaming what it wanted, my mind was denying, running away from it. My mind knew that it was wrong. That she should not have been standing there before me. Everything I believed in had to be true, and that this angel was a lie.

Irrational argument after irrational argument, my mind was still going strong. My mind seemed to be welded to its beliefs so strongly that even this angel might never persuade my mind to believe something different. Despite what my heart may have wanted or even needed to feel.

My mind knew that God had ceased to exist for me on that fateful day in 1918. Everything that I had believed in before, came crumbling down when the darkness overtook me. Every wall that I had built up around me no longer existed.

God had failed me.

The moment that I awoke in my new life, I knew that for God to exist, my creation would've never happened. He would never have let an abomination like me exist, a murderer, a monster.

Even though I wanted to believe that he was there and could be real, denying him just made my existence seem a little more tolerable to me. Maybe even easier for me to understand. I had always viewed myself as being evil, so naturally I needed to erase the good.

As I looked at my angel that was standing before me, I couldn't help but wonder about heaven and hell. Surely for this beauty to have been able to stand before me, God had to exist. I saw her wings, I held one of her feathers. They felt so amazingly real.

My mind kept replaying the same thoughts over and over. I started to feel like a broken record. Same old beliefs, just a new problem that challenged them.

I knew that I could not be dreaming. That would have made all of this seem so much easier to deny, to fight. I was rooted in this war within, whether I liked it or not. This war of my beliefs and feelings pitted against each other.

I felt torn.

I was unbelievably conflicted. I wasn't sure what part to give in to--my heart or my mind. I was able to bring myself to admit this: for once, in my entire existence, I felt afraid. I was not entirely afraid of the angel that stood before me, but more afraid of what my future could hold.

Bella looked over at me, her eyes penetrated my gaze. She's searching for something. As if she were searching for the answers to the universe. I have never had anyone or anything look at me the way that this amazing creature had. I shouldn't have liked it, but I did.

I walked slowly up to my angel as she continued to walk into my meadow. Her bare feet softly padded through the lush, green grass. As she continued to walk I couldn't help but notice that she had small, brown leaves strewn about her long hair. I grabbed my angel's hand softly, pulling her around so that she was facing me. She had the most beautiful smile. Just looking at Bella brought a kind of warmth deep inside me that I couldn't even begin to describe. All I knew was that I liked the feelings she was giving me. I just wasn't entirely sure of them.

I ran my fingers through my angel's hair, slowly picking out the leaves. She didn't seem to mind. Her eyes were transfixed on my face; like she was studying my face; memorizing it.

My angel was still smiling, and that warm feeling inside me suddenly intensified. I smiled back. For some reason, my smiles brought forth that beautiful blush. That blush of hers that I would never get tired of.

I noticed a lone strand of hair hanging in her face, I gently pushed it back behind her ear. She closed her eyes. Maybe she liked my touch? I wondered if she could feel the attraction, the electricity between us. Surely, she had to of felt something. Her eyes gave her away.

I wanted my angel's embrace. I desired it, maybe even more than her blood. I just wanted to feel her close to me. Those feelings that I was having-- I knew they were good, I just couldn't bring myself to be sure of them.

I was in a game of tug of war. My brain told me to forget everything and just let Bella do what she came here to do.

But my heart, oh my dead, cold heart was a different matter entirely. My heart wanted her love, her embrace, even her lips placed softly against mine.

I really shouldn't have been feeling those things, It wasn't right. An angel and a monster, good versus evil definitely came to mind. An angel like her was not meant to love a monster like me.

My mind couldn't help but think that every feeling that Bella had given me, my body and heart were betraying me.

I wanted to forget all of that, all of those negative thoughts and just give in to the moment. I wanted her warmth wrapped around me, like a blanket. A safe, secure blanket.

I needed to be honest with myself. In the back of my mind, those negative thoughts would always plague me. They would always be there despite what I might have felt or even wanted to do. I needed to run away from this. I really should have denied myself that piece of forbidden fruit that stood before me. But could I really bring myself to deny her entirely? Could I truly push away the one thing I wanted most? I was certainly more than just torn. I was fighting for survival.

This angel was going to break me, shatter me into a million pieces. Would she be there to put me back together again?

My angel sat down, in the clearing, pulling me down with her. She grabbed my hand and that strong, electric feeling pulsated between us. We sat in complete silence; content with the moment. I didn't want to move.

I noticed that every time I looked over at this gorgeous creature, she would hurry and look down at the ground, blushing. I must have caught her looking at me; I didn't mind. I was guilty of the same thing.

My eyes never wanted to leave the sight of her body. The soft, pale moonlight danced across her very white, porcelain skin. Her skin almost sparkled like mine would have with the sun shining upon it. It was simply beautiful, no other words could ever begin to describe it.

Sitting next to my angel, I found myself questioning why I would need an angel, a guardian, when I was a vampire. What does my angel have to save me from?

I looked up at the sky. It was a clear night. A million stars had taken residence in the night's sky. The moon was full, and bright. Not a single cloud hung in the sky. Once I had admired the beautiful nights sky, I stole a glance over at my angel and noticed that her small hands were balled up into tiny, little fists, and her lips were tightly pressed together. Did I make her mad? Say something to offend her? No, that wasn't it.

My angel closed her eyes, and I watched as her long, white, magnificent wings shot up behind her. Bella had her wings streched out as far as they could go, effectively blocking my view.

My angel turned her head slowly. "We have some company, Edward."

Bella stood in front of me. I stayed a few steps back from her. She had every intention of hiding me. She was protecting me. With her wings spread out before me, I couldn't help but feel like she had put a claim on me. I liked that feeling.

I heard a voice in my head_. "You okay bro? Been looking all over for you." _

I tapped Bella's shoulder and whispered into her ear, "Just my brother, Emmett." Her wings shot back down behind her back to be hidden once more.

Emmett continued to walk through the tall trees into the clearing of my meadow. "Who is that sitting next to you?" he said, as he stood in front of me.

"My angel," I whispered softly.

Bella shot a quick glance at Emmett and smiled. She shyly waved at him, but remained quiet. I wanted to hear her voice. I ached to hear her to talk.

"Why do you need an angel? Are you serious?" Emmett said, while softly laughing to himself.

I glared at Emmett, and Bella to be honest, looked a little offended. I couldn't really blame her. Bella slowly stood up. Her wings shot back out, stretched as far as she could get them to go. Emmett's eyes grew wide as he slowly brought his hands up to touch her wings. Bella quickly spun around, her wings put back into hiding.

"You really must never touch my wings, Emmett. You will burn me," Bella said as she looked down at the ground. She looked rather sad. "And for your information, you all need an angel. I am not just here for Edward." Her voice was stern

Emmett and I just stood there with our mouths agape. Every muscle that I possessed in my body seemed to tense up, Bella's words repeated themselves over and over in my head. Something bad was going to happen and I had no control over it, absolutely no control. I hated not having control.

We all sat back down on the slightly dewy grass. We each stole glances at each other, silently urging the other to talk. Eventually I gave in. "How long have you known about me?"

I stared at my angel while she stared down at the ground. "I have known you since forever; 1901 to be exact," she whispered as she looked up at me. Our eyes locked onto each others. Something clicked then. Almost like two puzzle pieces finding their perfect match.

She had always been with me? She was always there? That warmth deep inside me was back again.

"Why have you chosen now to show yourself?" I asked, while I ran my fingers through the grass.

"You can see me now because the whole of your family's existence depends on it." She looked over at Emmett "And you," she said, "need to have some faith. Vampires can't dream. I am very real. So, just snap out of it!"

I fell back laughing. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. I absolutely loved it when Emmett got told off. Which, to be honest, seemed to be practically all the time. But, to be told off by an angel, now that was definitely a new one.

Emmett glared at me. He hated when he got told off. I just shook my head and laughed. I sat up as my phone vibrated. I chose to ignore it.

Bella looked up to the night sky again. Her eyes seemed to stay fixated on one, lone star. That lone star that she stared at suddenly streaked across the night's sky, leaving a bright trail in it's wake.

She could be so quiet when she wanted to be. I was beginning to learn that it was times like these that I desperately wanted to know just what she's thinking. I wanted to know how her mind worked. I yearned to know her every thought.

"So, can you read minds like Edward can?" Emmett asked, looking intently at Bella.

"Not exactly," Bella said in a hushed whisper.

"Then how do you know what we are saying before we even say it?"

Bella looked over at Emmett. She stared into his eyes. I wondered what it was that she saw, or even thought for that matter. She bit on her lip nervously. "I just know, Emmett. I guess you could say I am just good at reading people, or in your case, vampires," she said as she chuckled softly to herself.

I watched as her eyes connected with mine. Sadness overtook those large brown eyes of hers. "But I feel I need to be honest with you now before things progress any further. This is officially my last 'assignment' protecting you," she whispered softly.

For some reason, I felt incredibly sad. She could not leave me after guarding me for close to a century? Could she? Did I really need her as much as I felt I needed her? Something deep inside me told me that I did. It was another one of those things I just couldn't seem to explain yet. I really didn't ever want her to leave. I have only known my angel for a short time and already, I didn't want to ever be without her.

My angel grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. She was trying to reassure me. She blushed and that alone took my mind off of things.

"You are going to find that just because this is my last assignment, it does not at all mean you will be without me. You will see." She smiled, her eyes wide. She knew just how to draw me in. I was a prisoner in those eyes, I would forever stay her prisoner if she would let me.

Emmett quickly stood up and looked over at Bella and then me. "We better get heading back, Edward. Bella can come home with us if she would like to." Emmett started to walk back into the trees. As soon as the darkness of the forest engulfed him, I heard him start to run off in a full sprint.

My angel nodded her head and looked at me, staring deeply into my eyes. "What I need to tell you, everyone should be present for. It concerns all of your futures."

Bella unclasped her hand from mine, and I took off running. I glanced back since I did not hear her running next to me. I was stupid to assume she would want to run. I started to walk back, I was worried about her. Again, I don't know why, I just was.

I heard wings fluttering and I looked up to the sky, and there was my angel, flying. Her wings outstretched, the wind blowing in between each feather, giving her the lift she needed.

I obviously had worried over nothing.

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I would really love to know what you all are thinking of my story so far. I don't mean to beg for reviews but i would really enjoy some:) thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3 Past Burns into Present

I own nothing. sm owns it all. Thank you to everyone that has read so far. I am really sorry that it has taken so long to post another chapter. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. As always please let me know what you think!

**Chapter 3- The Past Burns into The present**

I always felt so free when I ran, Like nothing could ever catch up to me. It was just me and the world. No one else. Running was one of my favorite things to do. A good run always helped clear my mind, especially when I was in a foul mood.

I enjoyed running through the tall grass and thick trees. I felt nothing but the wind in my face, the tree branches brushing against me as I moved swiftly pass. my feet spreading the grass apart with each footfall that connected to the ground.

This run, though, was different. I had no worries and nothing to cloud my mood. I was happy, genuinely happy.

As I looked up at the sky and saw Bella with her wings fluttering as she flew overhead, I could not help but wish she was running next to me. I wanted her near me, not above me.

I hated feeling like this, wanting something I surely could not have. It pained me to look at her, knowing that my heart wanted her but my mind denied her. My heart longed to just be able to accept her. I hated having to push her away. I was finding it harder with each look to run from her.

Whether my mind wanted to admit it or not, my angel was igniting a fire deep within me that would never be extinguished.

I knew that I was getting ahead of myself. None of these feelings made sense. Nothing made sense. I felt like I was living someone else's life. Like I was just watching from the outside, not wanting to feel what's on the inside.

My heart and mind would never agree; I felt like I was at war with myself. That pained me--it pained me to the core.

Once Emmett escaped the darkness of the trees, he slowly made his way towards me. We continued to walk up our long drive up to the house. I could see Alice and Jasper standing on the front porch. Alice obviously had seen that we were coming.

I watched as Bella slowly landed next to me. Her beautiful, white wings tucked neatly behind her back. She looked over at me and smiled. I know I should probably not admit this, but I loved her smile. I had a yearning to hold her hand. I desperately wanted to feel her touch. I was craving it.

Almost as if my angel knew what I was thinking, she softly grabbed my hand and held it in hers. I felt that burning feeling again almost instantly. I liked this feeling. Oddly enough it made me feel human. I felt alive. I couldn't help but wonder if Bella could feel it too?

Alice slowly walked down the steps towards the three of us. Bella had stopped walking. She looked hesitant. Surely Bella was not afraid of Alice? Alice engulfed Bella in a hug. She looked puzzled, but thankfully not scared.

I turned to Bella and whispered in her ear, "the very excited pixie that just hugged you is, Alice."

Alice looked over at me and knowing exactly what I was thinking took a step back from Bella. "I couldn't see Bella because she is an angel and not entirely human, but I think I figured out why my recent visions have had blank spots lately. The blank spots were Bella," Alice said as she beamed with happiness. Whatever her visions entailed, they were obviously something good, because that little devious pixie was blocking me from seeing them. Alice was reciting the preamble to the American Constitution over and over in her head. She was trying to bore me.

"Bella, I would like you to meet my husband jasper. You might want to be careful, he just might bite you," Alice said as she winked at Bella.

Bella looked jasper up and down. I could tell she was intimidated by his size. She shyly looked down at the ground.

Bella and jasper shook hands. It seemed like such a normal human interaction amongst a group of immortals.

"Everyone is in the living room Edward. I am sure they would love to meet Bella as well. Please, come in Bella?" Alice said as she held the door open.

Car lisle and Esme stood up; they came over and introduced themselves. Bella, surprisingly, looked rather comfortable amongst most my family, Rosalie was an entirely different matter. She looked disgusted with Bella.

Esme patted the seat next to her and motioned for Bella to come sit down. Bella sat next to her and did not flinch when Esme hugged her. Instead, she beamed with happiness.

I watched as Bella looked around at my family. Strangely, I felt that Bella would blend in so well. For whatever reason, while I sat in that room, everything felt perfect, complete. Almost like Bella had filled a void I did not know even existed until then. It was a strange feeling to suddenly feel so whole.

Every member of my family sat perfectly still and quiet. No one wanted to be the first to talk. I noticed that Bella was nervously fiddling with her fingers. I wanted to just grab her hand and smooth her fingers between mine. I wanted to comfort her and take away the nervousness that she was feeling. I flashed her a half smile and thankfully she blushed that beautiful blush of hers again.

"So, you are an angel Bella? How long have you been an angel if you don't mind me asking?" Carlisle asked.

He looked over at me, his voice invading my head. "_Do you think she would mind showing me her wings?"_

I shrugged my shoulders and whispered, "That is up to her."

Bella looked over at Carlisle and smiled. She immediately stood up and ran her fingers across her clothes. It looked like she was trying to straighten them out. She bit her lip and I found myself wanting to kiss her again. Why wash doing this to me? I really didn't want to feel this way. It felt so wrong, but right at the same time. Bella stopped biting her lip. She closed her eyes briefly. It almost seemed like she was waiting for words to come to her; Like she was not sure of herself.

I closed my eyes for just a second and when I opened them, Bella's magnificent wings were spread before us. The eyes of my family grew wide as they gasped. Bella just stood there, smiling.

"Well, Mr. Cullen"-

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"As you can see, I am an angel. My wings are very real. I have been an angel since the year 1790. So, roughly 215 years, but I have been strictly Edward's angel since 1901." Bella softly said as she retracted her wings. They were hidden again as she sat down next to Esme once more.

The room was eerily quiet again. My family had a million questions flowing through their minds and unfortunately, I could hear them all. My family was giving me a headache! Alice was basically shouting in my head what she wanted to ask Bella. I looked over at Alice and nodded my head, so she then quickly stood up and walked over by Bella. A sly smile spread across her face.

"Why can't I see you Bella? I mean you always caused blank spots but, if I focus hard enough, I would get glimpses. Why did I not see you coming or even know that you have been with Edward all of these years?" Alice sat down as she watched Bella's face, patiently waiting for her answer.

Bella grabbed Alice's hand, squeezing it. "You can't see me Alice, because technically I am not human. Also, someone did not want me to be revealed to you just yet. As for the visions you can see me in now, I am supposed to tell you that they will all come true." Bella winked at Alice. I don't think I have ever seen Alice this happy before. "Oh, and Alice there is one vision you have yet to have, but you will, and it will reveal why I am here now."

Alice looked puzzled. "If you know why you are here why don't you just tell us instead of making me wait for the vision?"

Bella let out a sigh and glanced over at me. "Well, the vision you will have later will reveal the final plan, but I will tell you this--" I was watching Bella, she looked to be somewhat sad. "Some time soon, and I am not sure when, the Volturi will pay you a visit. This will not be a happy visit." Bella was crying. I never thought that angels could cry. But then again, I never believed in their existence. Bella looked over at me again, straight into my eyes. "The reason the Volturi will show is due to a certain human learning of your existence. I chose to reveal myself to you now, because none of the powers any of you posses will save you. That is where I come in. Everything I have, you will need. That is why this must be my last assignment as your angel." Bella wiped the tears from her eyes. I wished I could have done that for her.

My heart was betraying my mind again.

My family looked shocked. No one knew what to think. They were grateful for Bella being there, even Rosalie. Carlisle still could not believe that an angel of all things was protecting us, neither could I.

Bella stood up and paced back and forth. She looked anxious to know what my family was thinking.

Carlisle stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you, Bella, we are certainly glad you are here," he smiled at her sweetly which seemed to calm her.

"Bella?" Esme said, "My dear, what did you mean by this is your last assignment? Does that mean that you will leave us after everything?" Esme looked sad. Almost as if she was losing something. I listened in on Esme's thoughts, she was thinking how perfect Bella was for our family...for me.

Bella looked intently at Esme as she softly spoke. "What I meant was in order for me to protect you, I must give up something, something incredibly sacred to my being. As for me leaving you, I will leave that up to Alice to tell you about. I really don't want to ever leave you, especially not Edward," Bella said, as she looked down to the floor, that crimson blush of hers making an appearance again.

What did all of this mean? Why did she blush when she talked about me?

Bella glanced around the room, surveying each face slowly. " Now I need to set a few rules, okay?"

We all nodded our heads yes. What rules could she place? Bella winked at me. Sometimes, I swear she could read my mind.

"Rule number one," she said softly. "You cannot touch my wings. You will burn me. Edward knows exactly what happens when you touch my wings." Bella looked at every one to make sure we understood.

"Rule number two.I am immortal, just like you, so don't be afraid of me. I can't and won't hurt you," she laughed softly as she looked over at Emmett.

"Rule number three, I am not allowed out in the day under any circumstances. Only night." That caught me off guard. I wondered why she couldn't go out during in the day. I looked over at Bella. "Because I have revealed myself,"she said in a quiet whisper.

"My final rule is this, you must not fight me on anything. You must trust me as I trust you." She looked at me as she said that. We locked eyes and I felt her gaze burn into me. When she finally looked away, I found myself instantly missing her beautiful eyes.

Bella started to walk for the door, but Esme stepped in front of her. "Where are you going? Won't you stay with us dear?"

I looked down at the floor. I had the most keen vision. The more intensely that I stared at the floor the easier I could tell apart each grain of wood. Could I handle it if she stayed with us? Could I push down my deepest desires just to be around her? Why did I have to punish myself? I shook my head and my eyes stayed glued to the floor.

I heard Bella's soft voice carry throughout the living room. "If you want me to stay, I will. Normally I just hide in the trees or somewhere secluded. I don't want to be a bother or make anyone uncomfortable."

I was certainly glad that I had decided to hunt earlier. I would have regretted it if I hadn't.

"Then it is settled. This is simply your home now." Esme smiled at Bella and grabbed her into another hug.

Bella sat down on the couch again, with her arms placed lazily across her lap. Her hair was hiding her face from me. If I had my way, I would stare at my angel for hours.

"May I ask you something Bella?" Emmett asked. He is usually pretty blunt, but he seems to be holding back for Bella's sake.

Bella nodded her head yes as she looked up at Emmett. I swear her large, doe-like eyes looked even deeper then they had before, more innocent.

"I am curious to know if you have ever been human. Surely to be an angel you must have been a human at some point?"

Bella laughed. She had the cutest laugh. It was certainly infectious and It made you want to laugh right along with her.

"I have never been human, always an angel. Not every angel that is created started out as a human. I may have been 'born' in 1790, but I have always been this way."

Emmett nodded his head in understanding. My whole family was just as curious as I was about Bella. Eventually I would get her alone to ask her what I wanted to know.

I noticed Carlisle fidgeting. I have never known my father figure to be nervous over anything. It was amazing to see Bella have this kind of impact on him.

"I am sorry if you do not want to answer this, Bella, but if you were Edward's angel in 1918, why didn't you stop me? Why not take him to heaven?" Carlisle said in a hushed voice. I heard the pain in his voice.I know that he never regretted changing me. Carlisle struggled with the fact that he had made a choice for me rather letting me choose for myself. For many reasons, I am glad that he did.

I looked over at my Bella, wanting desperately to hear her answer. She looked to be deep in thought. She shifted in her seat as she bit her lip. It must have been a nervous tick of hers.

"It was simply meant to be, Carlisle. Don't get me wrong, I was right next to him at that very moment. I will admit that I was there to take him in case you didn't follow through. Edward was meant to be a vampire. If there is one thing angels can't do, it is the fact that we can't change all fates." She looked at me with concern in her eyes. She was afraid she had revealed top much.

I found myself even more curious, but at the same time I was afraid of what her answers might reveal. What if it was something I really did not want to know? "Am I the longest you have protected someone?" I looked around at my family. All of their eyes were cast on Bella. I noticed that Alice had a huge grin plastered on her face. She obviously must know the answer, but the little brat was blocking me. It was always annoying when she did that.

Bella had a light blush creeping across her cheeks. "Yes, Edward, you are the longest. The reason I have been with you so long is that I was made specifically for you. It was only a matter of time before our fates would intertwine. Alice will tell you more about that later." She winked at me as she smiled at Alice.

Alice was still blocking me and I was finding myself becoming more and more curious about these visions. Especially if they were to do with my angel.

My family wanted to know everything about Bella. Hopefully, we would have a long time with her. She belonged here, I was entranced by her. I knew that I didn't ever want to be without her. I could only hope that she would eventually feel the same. But did I want her to feel the same? An angel surely couldn't fall in love with a monster like me.

Was I falling in love with her? I knew I felt something. I really didn't want that feeling to go away but, at the same time I was afraid to feel whatever it was that I had been feeling.

I couldn't help but just stare at her. She looked absolutely exhausted. Do angel's sleep? If she does I should probably order a bed, but Alice and Esme had other plans for my Bella, A room of her own.

"Bella, I hope that I do not come off as being rude, but...do angels sleep?" Esme asked.

"I have no need to really sleep and I am sure you are probably wondering about my diet as well. I do eat just as the humans do." Bella laughed softly to herself and smiled at Esme. I could see Bella and Esme becoming close, kind of like mother and daughter. That would most certainly brighten Esme's world.

As I looked around at my family, I began to realize that I was hoping for a future. Not dreading it. I wanted a future just like my siblings. I wanted Bella. But, so many things were holding me back. I yearned to taste her blood. I hadn't breathed in over an hour because I feared I would drain her. Plus, she was an angel. Certainly not meant to be with one of the damned, Angels are simply innocent creatures, not meant to be tainted. Could I live with myself if I corrupted that? I can barely live with myself right now.

Maybe, for Bella's sake, I should let my feelings go. I probably should never act on them. Everything I was feeling and thinking was improper. I couldn't run away--she would just follow. But I could most definitely run away and ignore the feelings. If I denied myself these feelings, then I wouldn't ever hurt her.

I sat there, as I tried to clear my thoughts. I couldn't help but feel like I was losing control of my life. Like fate had already intervened. Everything was already decided, despite what I may have thought or even felt.

I should probably just be honest with myself. I was scared; I was scared of that beautiful creature that sat across from me. I was scared of what my feelings were telling me. I knew that deep down I should not force myself to deny my future. I could have run away from it, but I would never truly be happy. Could I have deny myself happiness? I probably could if it meant making her happy.

I truly was one really screwed up, masochistic vampire.

I was so deep into my own thoughts that, for once, I didn't hear one single thought of my family. I heard Bella, Alice and Esme all animatedly talking to one another. I could tell that poor Emmett was feeling left out.

"Hey Bells!" Emmett called out. He was certainly becoming more comfortable around her. I glanced in on his mind and his thoughts were of my angel. He was thinking that Bella is the perfect little sister for him. On top of that, he still found it hard to believe that there was an angel sitting in a room full of vampires.

Bella looked over at Emmett and smiled. I would give anything to know what she was thinking. She was completely shut off to me.

"Yeah, Emmett?" Bella said as she bit her lower lip again.

"Were you ever an angel for anyone famous?" Of course. Leave it to Emmett to want to know this.

Bella closed her eyes. She must have had to think back. "I mostly protected random humans in times of need. I did protect a past president as well as a famous writer. I can't divulge any identities of course, at least not yet." She smiled that sweet, playful smile of hers again. "But Edward is the only assignment that I have ever had last this long."

I smiled, not just smiled. I beamed. I felt somewhat special due to the fact that I had Bella all to myself all those years. She had protected only me! That made me feel amazing. My face was actually starting to hurt because I was smiling so much. To be honest, that night had been one of the best nights of my life and it was all thanks to Bella.

Alice was still sitting next to Bella. Sometime during all my thinking Esme had brought Bella a cup of tea. She seemed to be enjoying it. Alice was preparing to ask Bella something and I am not sure I wanted everyone to know. I glared at Alice. _I swear, that little pixie...._

"Bella, what was Edward like when he was human?" Alice looked over at me, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, Alice, he was always handsome and mischievous, always a bit shy, and smart. If I remember correctly, he absolutely loved to sleep. He adored his mother and father. He was a very formal young man, still is." She laughed while she shook her head. "Edward loved to swim, read and even write." She looked over at me and a slight blush crept up on her face. "I have always loved your handwriting Edward," she returned her gaze over to my family. "Edward always played the piano, but I bet you didn't know that he also used to play the violin. I rather enjoyed that." My angel winked at me. "I am afraid if I continue, that I will eventually embarrass Edward, if I haven't already."

If there is one thing that I had noticed in the short amount of time that Bella had been with us, time sure flies. Before we all knew it, the sun was rising. My siblings and I would have to go to school. It was another cloudy day in Forks. Not much of a surprise there. I didn't want to leave my angel, but surely she would follow?

"Edward, now that I have revealed myself, I can't go out during the day. My mind will be with you, always, so I will know everything you do. Like I said earlier, I have to sacrifice some things to protect you," Bella said, and she smiled at me sweetly as I walked out the door.

Honestly I didn't know what to think anymore.

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I would really love to know what you all are thinking of my story so far. I don't mean to beg for reviews but i would really enjoy some:) thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4Visions Told, Reasons Learned

**I do not own anything twilight related, SM owns that. Sorry that it has taken me awhile to post this. I was waiting for this chapter to get validated on twilighted before I added onto here. So here it is and enjoy!**

**The ride to school was quiet. Not one of us talked. Our minds were too occupied with thoughts of Bella. I quickly learned that I wasn't the only one with a million questions that floated around inside my head.**

When I left the house that morning, I found it utterly excruciating to leave her behind. Since my family and I had learned of her existence, she couldn't be there with me like she had been before. I felt empty and alone. Even though I had my family with me, I still felt like a piece of me was gone. I felt like I had some sort of magnetic pull connected to me, Bella being the positive and me being the negative. It was strange to feel that way considering that I had just learned of her existence.

My heart was screaming at me to turn the car around and go back to her. All I wanted in that moment was to just smell her, breathe her in.

With each mile I drove, the pull got stronger. More intense; I needed her like I needed blood to live. All those years that she was with me, she had become my oxygen. She was my source of life even though I didn't realize it at the time.

I couldn't help but wonder what Bella had to give up just to be able to protect my family as well as me. I hoped that it wasn't too much.

I shook my head, attempting to erase all the thoughts I was thinking. I continued on the drive to school, missing the one thing I needed the most.

My day was pretty much uneventful. If I had my choice I wouldn't have had to subject myself to playing this shit charade of going to school just to appease the humans around us. Sometimes I wondered what the point was. They feared us and couldn't stand to be around us, and all we wanted to do was to drain them. Luckily for them, we were vegetarians. Only mountain lion for me thanks. My family and I choose to only feed off of the blood of animals. At least then we were able to keep some amount of humanity within us. We wouldn't become the monsters that humans feared us to be.

The whole day, my mind was on Bella. Nothing but Bella streamed through my thoughts. I didn't care for any of the thoughts of the people around me. I only cared for one being, and that was Bella, only Bella. That scared the crap out of me. I shouldn't have allowed her that kind of attention, in the end it would just be trouble. Heartbreak for me and just trouble for her. I hoped that I was wrong. I couldn't bank all my hopes on being wrong. No matter if my heart wanted me to or not. I needed to be smart about this.

Once I heard the final bell ring, I quickly made my way to my car as fast as I was able to. I waited impatiently for my siblings to arrive. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to go home to Bella. I didn't care about anything else. Just her, why was she affecting me so?

As I pulled up into the long driveway and parked my car, I centered on my siblings thoughts. They were still on Bella. Curiosity hung in the air. I opened my door and slowly got out. I could smell her, she was close. Such a sweet smell, so heavenly and inviting, the scents of freesias and strawberries wafted around me. The venom was back again as well as the pain. I forced myself to swallow it and push it back down. Never had pain felt as good as when it stung going down my throat, a small price to pay to see my angel, the reason for my happiness.

The door to the garage was propped open, and there stood Bella and Esme. Never had I seen two women look happier as they did in that moment. Bella's smile was infecting me; it made me warm and happy. I wanted to push those feelings down and not let them surface, no matter how good they were.

Emmett was the first to make it up to the house. He quickly enveloped Bella into a bone-crushing hug. She laughed and begged for him to put her down. I was worried that Emmett might hurt her, but I had to remind myself that she was immortal, just like us. She wasn't breakable, yet I still found myself increasingly protective of her, very protective. Emmett let her down, and her eyes searched for mine. Once she saw me past Emmett her face lit up even more. Every time she smiled, laughed or just looked at me, I felt like I was being branded, made permanently hers. I would continue to try and fight it. I had to fight it, I couldn't taint her innocence. I wouldn't bring her down with me.

I noticed that she was not wearing the same white outfit as she had last night. Instead she was wearing a pale blue t-shirt and light blue jeans and some sneakers. It didn't matter to me what she wore. She still looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Alice, Esme said I could go through your closet. I know you had nicer things I could wear, but this felt the most comfortable, and I already feel guilty as it is," Bella said as she shyly smiled down at the ground.

"I'll have to go shopping for you, Bella. I'd love to get you a whole new wardrobe," Alice said as her eyes twinkled with excitement.

Bella looked uncomfortable. "You don't have to, Alice. I have no money to give you for it." Bella looked down at the floor, embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it, silly. I am meant to spoil you."

We all laughed. All of us knew to just give in to Alice. If she wanted something, your best bet was to just give in and let her do what she wanted. It always seemed so much easier that way.

I felt Bella grab my hand and squeeze as I walked past her. That moment of contact sparked something deep inside me. I felt warm. What was Bella doing to me? I smiled back at her and I got to see that beautiful blush of hers slowly creep up onto her face.

Once I made it up to my room, I laid my backpack down and stole a glance at Bella. She was hiding her face behind her hair again. I held my breath. I was in a much smaller, more confined space with her. She was simply too intoxicating, much too intoxicating for her own good. _Could I handle being alone with her?_ My body stiffened at the thought and Bella certainly noticed it.

"Edward, you won't and can't hurt me," she whispered softly.

I winced as if I were feeling the worst pain in my entire life. "But Bella, I can smell you and your blood. Surely if I bit you--"

Bella placed her finger on my lips, she had effectively stopped me from saying another word. "I would have to be human for you to bite me, and Edward, stop worrying."

Bella slowly walked over and sat down on my couch. I would have given anything to know what went on in that mind of hers. Bella sighed and bit her lip. I'd be lying to myself if I said that wasn't the sexiest thing I'd ever seen because damn it, it was. If only Bella knew what she did to me. I needed to get my thoughts out of the gutter.

"Edward, I am not sure if I should tell you this, but I really missed you today," she said as her beautiful cheeks turned bright red. I couldn't help but plaster my face with the biggest grin imaginable.

I fought my inner feelings. I wasn't at all sure what I should say back. Sure, I missed her too...a lot! I just felt odd admitting my feelings to her. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable with me. So instead, I copped out and looked over at Bella and just whispered as low as I could, "I missed you too."

My inner thoughts were interrupted by a very overly anxious pixie. _Stop hogging Bella, Edward!_

I turned to Bella and held out my hand. She eagerly took it, and we made our way downstairs to my family.

Bella had to of known why my family was feeling excited, because she immediately tensed up. Jasper, of course, noticed this and tried to send her waves of calm. That amazingly didn't work. It was like she was impenetrable to our powers. Eventually, Bella calmed herself down.

Carlisle walked into the living room and casually sat down on the over-sized couch facing the rest of the family and Bella. I noticed that he was blocking his thoughts from me. Normally I didn't mind, but it was beginning to bug me.

"I am curious Bella, as we all are, but what exactly happens if you go out during the day?" Carlisle said as he looked at Bella expectantly.

Bella shifted on her feet. "I will show you all if Alice promises to reveal her visions. It is only fair."

Alice nodded her head yes, and grabbed Bella's hand. She lead Bella out into the cold, crisp autumn air. Bella was hesitant to step forward. I wondered if she was afraid of what we would think of her after she stood out into the light of day.

"Well, here goes," Bella sighed as she stepped away from the house and further outside.

It was as if she suddenly disappeared into thin air. I could no longer see her. No shape of her body remained, but instead there was a rather bright sparkle, almost like we were looking through a crystal that had attracted light. She was just that, a prism of light. Then, just as suddenly as she had disappeared, she reappeared in front of me, smiling.

"That is so much cooler than our stupid, sparkly vampire skin," Emmett bellowed.

Bella laughed. I would never be able to bring myself to tire of the sound of her laughter.

"Alright, Alice your turn," Bella said teasingly.

Alice sat down next to Jasper who protectively wrapped his arms around her. I longed for the day that I would get to do that to my special someone, my Bella. That day was far off, if we ever even got to that point.

All eyes were now on Alice.

"Edward, you must promise me that you won't get mad," Alice said quietly.

Why would I get mad? Alice's visions couldn't be that bad, could they? I started to worry when she started to block me.

"I guess I shall begin," Alice sighed as she fiddled with her fingers. "The first vision I had was of Edward and Bella falling madly in love. Later on in the vision I see Edward and Bella getting married and consummating that love."

My head was screaming. W_hat the hell? No way, not ever! _

But, my heart was singing._ Oh hell yes!_

Alice looked over at Bella with a sad look upon her face. "In my second vision, I see Bella human, no longer an angel. But here's the big catch...she becomes one of us."

My brain wouldn't shut up._ I would never bring myself to damn her to this half-life. I can't taint her and steal her soul...such a precious innocent soul._

My heart was basically jumping for joy. My heart was happy that I would have someone to call my mate. I secretly hoped for that vision to come true.

Alice knocked me out of my inner thoughts once more. "The last vision I had was of the Volturi arriving here. Now I haven't pinpointed the exact time, and also I'm not completely certain who will come here. I do know that Aro will most definitely be here. I couldn't see the rest, because Bella's wings were blocking my view. Well, there you have it."

Alice's visions were subjective. How was she able to be so certain of visions that could always change?

"Edward, haven't you learned not to bet against me yet? My visions may be subjective, but I am most certain these will come to pass. I have been questioning the same things that you have. I know you doubt me just by the look on your face. Bella told us that there are certain fates angels can't change. Well, now that she's in our life, it is set in stone. Our fate can't be changed. I am one-hundred-percent positive this will all come to pass."

Alice looked around the room, surveying how everyone reacted. Esme and Carlisle looked happy, as did Emmett. Jasper just sat as he watched his wife, Rosalie probably wasn't even listening.

As for me, I couldn't believe what I had heard. My angel and I were to fall in love. I absolutely refused to damn her to this life. I didn't want to be responsible for corrupting the perfect being that was sitting across from me. But I had to admit, my heart welcomed the idea of making this angel of mine my wife. I didn't even want to focus on the Volturi. Any thought I had of the Volturi sent shivers up my spine.

I know I promised Alice that I wouldn't get mad. I couldn't lie; I was a little bit pissed. With Alice's visions, it was going to be harder to run from this and deny my future. I was starting to feel things that I could not explain. I knew that I needed her. Her very presence was intoxicating to me. I knew deep down that I had to have her. _But, could I allow Bella to fall for me? Could I allow myself to ruin her very existence?_ Alice always told me that I should never bet against her. I knew that she was most likely right. I just wanted to try to prove her wrong. Eventhough deep down I knew that it was a useless fight. Alice always got her way.

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	5. 5Human Memories Should Never Fade

**I do not own anything twilight related, SM owns that. Here is the chapter most of you have waited for. Memories! I hope you enjoy it, it is my fav so far! This will not be the last of the memories you will see. Thanks for all the reviews.**

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Time seemed to go fast with Bella in the house. Before I knew it two weeks had quickly passed. I had spent the last two weeks trying to forget Alice's visions, but I was finding it really difficult. Bella was constantly on my mind, and since my mind was on her, my mind easily stayed focused on the visions. I didn't want to think of them anymore. But I had no choice in the matter. They would always be there; I couldn't erase them nor wish them away. They had become a part of me and were woven into my future in ways I had yet to comprehend.

Alice and Esme had kept Bella rather busy in the last two weeks. Esme wanted Bella to feel more at home, and gave her the room which was next to mine. The girls kept Bella busy with decorating choices and furniture placement. Unfortunately, with Bella's room next to mine, we had to share a bathroom. Every time I walked in, I was surrounded by her scent. It slammed into me with such force, I was amazed I wasn't knocked to the ground. I loved her scent, but the sting from the venom only reminded me of the realities of my situation. It made me quickly realize what I would have to endure just to smell her. It was a pleasurable form of torture.

The scent of freesias and strawberries wafted into my room, and the venom slowly pooled in my mouth. I forced myself to push it back down. It stung even more that time. The sting from the venom was much more pronounced just due to Bella being so close to me. The pain had brought me back to reality and out of my thoughts.

The bathroom door closed as she turned the water faucet on. I heard her robe fall to the floor. I shook my head to get away from those thoughts. Nothing seemed to work to clear my mind, I gave up once I heard the water slosh around as she entered the bath. My mind had begun to envision Bella's naked form with the hot water surrounding her.

My hands clenched tightly to the side of my couch. I closed my eyes as I breathed in and out slowly, but that didn't help either. All I wanted in that moment was to join her. I yearned to feel her naked body pressed up against mine, the warm water surrounding us. But I couldn't have that. I could only be allowed my daydreams.

I walked over to my window that overlooked the river. My eyes focused on the way the river ran. I loved the sounds that it made while the water churned and the currents moved. That helped clear my mind.

I paced my room as I heard her step out of the bath and get dressed. I heard her sigh as she hung up the towel. I focused on every footfall that came toward my door from the bathroom.

She knocked three times before she started to turn the door knob.

"Edward, do you mind if I come in? I have something I would like to give to you," Bella said.

I couldn't try to avoid her this time. She was just outside my room. I felt bad about avoiding her those last two weeks. It wasn't easy, but I felt it necessary at the time.

"Yes, please come in," I said as I sat down on my couch facing the door, awaiting my fate as I held my breath.

Bella slowly opened the door, and stepped into my room. I noticed that she was carrying a small wooden box. It was intricately carved and had a gold latch with a lock on the front. I watched her movements as she walked toward me. She pulled a gold skeleton key out of her pocket.

She carefully handed me the key as she sat down next to me. She placed the wooden box down into my lap softly. "This is for you, I have kept it all these years."

I played with the key before I inserted it into the lock. I turned it to the left until the lock clicked open. I hesitated before I lifted the lid. I was afraid of what I would find.

I grabbed the first item and my breath hitched in my throat. It was a lock of my baby hair. If I wasn't a vampire, I am sure that I would have had tears streaming down my face. I looked over at Bella, and she smiled.

"Your baby hair was just as beautiful as your hair now. I figured that if I cut a little bit off,you wouldn't mind. I knew that someday you would want it." She said as she smiled sweetly at me.

I looked down into the box and noticed a bundle of pictures. I closed my eyes and sighed. I rifled through pictures of my parents. My mother was always so pretty. I had her eyes, lips and hair. I had my fathers smile, nose, ears and shape of face. I missed them; I ached for them. I missed my mother's voice and laughter. I missed my father's stories and the smell of his pipe tobacco. I missed they way they would hug me and kiss me good night. All of those memories flooded back to me with just one look at those pictures. Bella had given me a gift that could never be replaced.

I came across the last picture; a picture of me as a baby. I had quit breathing; I closed my eyes. I started to run my fingers across the picture. I was never able to recall such memories. Deep down, I sensed that Bella knew that.

Bella softly grabbed the picture from my hands as she turned her head to face me. "I was there when you were born. Your eyes were so wide and full of wonder. They still have that spark in them, even though you don't realize it. Before they placed you into your mother's waiting arms, I kissed your forehead softly and made a promise that I would always be with you, no matter what."

I felt the venom sting my eyes. I wanted to cry; I needed to cry. Everything that Bella was telling me was everything that I had wished for since the moment I was turned. I had always wanted to remember such things as these.

I looked down into the box and noticed my mother's hand writing on a piece of old parchment paper. I opened it up and read the contents.

_Summer 1918_

_My dearest Edward,_

_I am sure by the time you read this I will be long gone from this world. But, I will always be with you in your heart. Forever and always, you must believe that._

_The moment that you were born, you molded my world for me. You were my everything; you always will be. The way you smiled and looked up at me and cooed filled my heart with such everlasting joy. I was always at home with you. You made my soul shine brighter whenever I heard your laughter or the piano being played. Your happiness was my air._

_I know someday you will find someone to fill your heart with love and joy. I hope she is everything you want her to be. You deserve her, and she deserves you. Two hearts intertwined make eternal love._

_I will love you forever my dear boy. I will carry you always in my heart. _

_Always and Forever,_

_love, _

_your mother_

My body convulsed in tearless sobs. I felt my mother's love radiate through me then. I held the letter close to where my dead heart would be. I would carry it with me, always.

Bella wrapped her arms around me, and laid her head on my shoulder. "Edward, your mother always loved you. She would sing Irish lullabies to you and always kiss your cheek goodnight. Your father was always there to tuck you in. They would read to you every night. Never had I seen parents love their child as they had loved you."

I nodded my head and leaned further back into the couch. I needed a minute to process all that Bella had given me. I found it hard to wrap my head around everything. It was all too much, too fast.

The last of the mementos in the box was my mother's wedding ring and my father's cufflinks. I placed everything back in the box and latched it shut.

"Thank you, Bella. You don't know how much all of this means to me," I whispered as I placed the box onto my bedside table.

I felt Bella run her fingers across my arm. "I am glad you have enjoyed everything I have shared with you, but I am not done yet. There is so much more I want to tell you. Things I know you want to hear," she whispered softly.

I felt the couch shift in weight as I watched Bella get up and walk towards her room. She quickly returned and handed me another old piece of paper; fancy calligraphy was written on the document. I carefully unfolded it. I couldn't believe what it was. I shook my head in amazement.

"Is this what I think it is?" I choked out.

"Yup, when it came to you, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of a single thing."

In my hands laid my original birth certificate. Not a forged copy, the one and only original. It took me several minutes to form one coherent thought.

"Why did you keep all of this stuff?" I asked.

"Because, I care about you in ways I probably shouldn't. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to be special to me. So, anything of significance got saved. I knew, eventually, one day I would show myself to you. I knew the moment I found out that you were my next assignment where your fate was headed. I knew that you would need these," Bella said as she wrapped herself up in a blanket.

I pushed down the venom as I pulled Bella closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her. "Are you cold? I could start a fire?"

"No, I am okay for the moment."

Bella laid her head on my chest as she sighed softly to herself. "I remember one night you had a rather horrific nightmare. You were about 6 years old, and your parents were out attending a party. A cousin of yours was looking after you. He was a bit preoccupied. You screamed and screamed. I soothed you too sleep. You couldn't see me, but I was there. You probably felt really warm that whole night, because I stayed cuddled next to you. I hated to see you scared. It broke my heart."

"I think I remember that dream. I think it was about Frankenstein. I don't remember exactly, but I do remember feeling completely calm."

I looked into Bella's eyes. They seemed so deep and full of longing. Her eyes were most definitely windows into her soul. I read love, compassion, and longing in those eyes. I felt hope.

"When you were about eight, you skinned your knee pretty badly. You and some of your friends were playing a game in the field next to your house. You just got right back up, not a tear shed. I was proud of you." Bella looked up at me and smiled.

I smiled; I couldn't think of anything to say. My mind was a blank slate. All I really wanted was to stay rooted in that spot and listen to her memories of me that I should have retained myself. They seemed so much more beautiful coming from Bella. With each memory that Bella told, I felt like they were rare gems that captivated the beholder for the first time. Each time she spoke, she was uncovering a new buried treasure for me. If my heart wasn't dead, it would have soared with each memory being unlocked.

As I waited for Bella to uncover another memory for me, I noticed that rain had begun to fall. The raindrops hit the window as the wind picked up. I wondered if it was true about what they say when it rains. I was always told that it was angels crying, and when it thundered that meant that God was angry. I contemplated asking her.

"When it rains, it means an angel has lost its wings, and the rest of them are crying with grief. When it rains unusually hard, an important angel has fallen," Bella said as she looked up at me with sadness taking over those large brown eyes of hers.

"How do you always know what I am thinking? Surely you can't read my mind, can you?" I asked

"I wasn't sure when I should tell you, but yes, I can read your mind. Only yours. It has to be that way," she whispered as she sat up and crossed her legs.

I sat up more in the couch and looked over at Bella. The sadness was still there. She gave me a weak smile as she spoke softly, "Enough about sad angels. I am happy because I am here with you. Now, onto more important things."

Bella placed a small, leather bound book into my lap. The title was faded, and the pages were weathered and a bit frayed on the edges. I opened the book and found a pressed rose in the middle of the book. The rose was faded red. It still had the leaves attached to the stem.

"That rose that you are holding was the first rose you ever gave your mother. You gave it to her when you were about seven years old. It was a present for her birthday. That book that you opened is your mother's favorite book: '_Sense and Sensibility'."_

I brought the book up to my nose and inhaled the scent. I could still smell a faint hint of my mother's perfume. It smelled like wildflowers and honey. I closed my eyes and inhaled again. I was able to see my mothers face so clearly in my mind. I wished that she were here with me.

"I figured if I gave you things that were dear to you in your human life that they would help trigger some memories for you. I hope that you don't mind that I am telling you some of them as well. I want to help you remember who you are, who you used to be and who you will always be to me," Bella said as she nervously fiddled with her fingers.

I took her hand in mine, and spread her fingers out across my hand. I pressed my hand into hers, and held her fingers softly in between mine. I gently clasped her hand in mine.

"Trust me; you are helping, in more ways than one. I appreciate everything you are telling me. I will cherish this night with you forever," I whispered softly in her ear.

Bella smiled, and I sensed she was feeling even more comfortable with me. She snuggled in closer to me and squeezed my hand. It was hard to have her so close and not do something. I wanted to kiss her, but I pulled back and stared out of my window instead.

"Edward, are you okay? I know you wanted to do something then, and you pulled away. You don't need to hide what you want from me. I already knew your intentions, and still I am lying in your arms," she whispered softly, while she ran her finger tips down my cheeks and across my lips.

I stood up and paced around my room. I couldn't allow myself to give in to such indulgences with her. I couldn't taint the perfection of innocence that sat next to me. I wanted to. I longed to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was scared that had I kissed her, she would crumble or vanish.

Bella latched her hand onto mine and pulled me back down next to her. She cradled her head on my shoulder and I felt her breath on my neck. It was so warm and smelled so incredibly sweet. I licked my lips and kissed her forehead.

"Did you want to stick to the human memories, or do you want some vampire ones as well?" Bella whispered into my neck.

I sighed softly and looked down at her, "I will be happy with whatever you want to share. I want to hear and know everything."

"I know that your change and me being there has been something that has been weighing on your mind lately, and I will gladly tell you anything you want me to tell you about that...if you are ready," Bella said.

I nodded my head yes.

Bella sat up straight and looked right into my eyes. Our hands laid intertwined.

"I heard your mother and Carlisle talking to one another, and I knew it was time. Her time was short, and yours was just beginning. Your mother was very intent on him saving you. Her heart was breaking with every word that she spoke to Carlisle. You were always her pride and joy. She begged and pleaded for him to spare you in some way," she said as her voice quivered.

"After she passed, I knew that he would come for you. He was going back and forth on whether to change you or not. I was preparing myself to bring you back to heaven with me. The moment that Carlisle walked into the room, I knew that it was decided. You watched him so carefully. Your eyes followed every movement that he made towards you. Surprisingly, you felt so calm and at peace. You were scared, yet you knew that he was your salvation." She drew in a shaky breath and gave me a weak smile.

"The moment that Carlisle walked up to your bedside, I had my hand on your heart. You took in a shallow breath as he bit down onto your neck. As the venom surged through your system, I quietly whispered to you that you would be okay. After three days I heard your heart start to become weaker. When the last beat came, I bent down and softly kissed your lips as your body stilled completely. I whispered to you the same promise I made to you when you were first born. I promised I'd always be with you no matter what. I would always be with you." She tightened the grip she had on my hand as she looked up at me.

"When you awoke for the first time as a vampire, you eyes searched the room. You looked like everything was new to you. I loved to watch you take in your surroundings. Even the first breath you took was just the same to me as the first breath you took when you were first born," she said as she smiled up at me.

My memory of my change was still somewhat hazy to me. I did remember seeing Carlisle walk up next to my bed on that fateful day. I remember the pain and the burning. I do remember a warmness that I had never felt before. It wasn't the type of warmness associated with body heat. It was the warmness like the sun's rays beating down on you on a rather hot day. I felt that warmness on my lips and chest.

I was reminded of that warmness the first time I ever saw my angel. As she sat next to me, I felt the same warmth I felt the day my body and life changed forever. That warmth that I felt back then was her.

I shook my head. She really was always there.

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	6. Chapter 6Edward Admits Defeat

**I do not own anything twilight related, SM owns that. Sorry that it has taken me awhile to post this. I hope you all like this chapter:) There is a kiss!!!**

The rain continued to pound the windows as the wind picked up even stronger than it had before. Each raindrop that pelted my window sounded like a loaded gun being blasted right in my ear. My mind was still reeling from all that Bella had revealed to me.

Bella hadn't moved from her spot next to me, wrapped comfortably in my arms. No words needed to be exchanged. The memories that she showed me and the items she bestowed upon me left an impression, an indent inside of me. Somehow, she has managed to change the very course of my existence. She changed it just by telling me things that I have longed to hear since my birth into this life that I now lead. Something shifted in me during our conversation. I couldn't quite place it, but whatever it was, it was something that I needed to come to terms with.

I knew then as I looked down at Bella that I had fallen for her, fallen so hard that I was drowning and nothing could have saved me. I didn't want to be saved. I would gladly face the fiery pits of hell if it meant I got to stay next to Bella. I watched her breath and her eyes lids open and close. I watched her as she bit her lip, and that was when the revelation hit me.

I loved her, but I have failed her. I have failed at trying to keep my feelings at by and her safe from me. I tried ignoring my feelings, but they were truly undeniable. They were begging mercifully for me to let them out. I simply couldn't run from her anymore. I had nowhere to successfully hide. She made that impossible. I couldn't even run from the visions. I knew in that moment that I had to embrace my future with open arms and not give in to my fears. I had to be strong for her. I had to give her what I couldn't give myself. It was then the realization came to me, I had to give her my trust…

I simply gave in. I threw my arms up in defeat. That amazing creature that was Bella had defeated me, she had worn down every ounce of resolve I had.

I would gladly beg her to let me love her how she deserves to be loved. I would worship her. I wanted to prove that I could be the man that she saw in me, that she needed me to be. I had to be the man I didn't think I could ever be, but I would do it for her, only her.

Even with me realizing my love for her, something was bound to bring me down from my high. I knew I loved her, and yet I had failed to protect her from everything I had deemed myself unnecessary for. Not once did believe I deserved her. I could only hope that she would give in and give me her heart as well as her love.

Bella was the one I wanted, the one I needed. She was and always has been the reason for my existence on this forsaken earth, even when I didn't know it. She was my lifeline, my reason for being. I knew that I needed her to survive. I needed her to be there for all of eternity. I wanted her to be there always, especially in the times I would only need her, nobody else.

I hoped and prayed that god would forgive me; all I needed was for Bella to love me too. That alone would define my wretched existence. My chest ached; it ached in the one place my dead cold heart would never beat again. I would shatter into a million pieces from the love I felt.

I shouldn't have tried to dismiss how she might have felt. I saw love and devotion in those eyes of hers when she was recounting those memories. I couldn't help but wonder if there was love deep down inside her for me. There must have been. She did keep all of those items after all.

Throughout our whole conversation my thoughts kept reverting back to the fact that for an angel, she seemed so human. She truly amazed me in every way possible.

Bella jumped when someone knocked on my door. I knew it was Jasper. I heard him in my head before he even reached the stairs to my room.

"Come in, Jasper," I said as I sat up, regrettably moving Bella out of my arms.

Jasper slowly walked into my room, his head bowed down, concentrating on the floor. He looked up, his expression sad and he looked slightly conflicted. I knew that he was feeling everything I had been. My fears and self doubt came rebounding back to me full force.

With his shoulders slumped forward, he continued into my room. He quietly sat down on my bed. His face filled with sadness.

"How are ya, darlin'?" he asked in his southern drawl as he turned to Bella.

Bella looked calm and collected with Jasper's company. She didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable.

"I am fine, Jasper. Thanks." Bella smiled at Jasper as she stood up. "I have a feeling that you two need to talk, so I think I will let you boys be for now."

"Bella, Emmett really wants to teach you how to play some games on the Xbox. He has been waiting all day to ask you. I hope you don't mind," he said as he winked at her.

Bella walked to the door and pulled it open. "I don't mind at all Jasper. I would love to get to know Emmett as well."

I frowned as my eyes wandered over to Jasper's slumped figure. He looked torn. I was hoping he wouldn't feel what I felt. I didn't want to put another through the agony I was feeling.

Jasper stood up and began to pace around my room. I felt his unease and nervousness as I watched him place his hands down at his sides. His fists balled up,He looked frustrated.

"Edward, I don't know what I should say or even how I should really feel about everything. Seeing how your emotions have taken over me. I am not sure what to do. All I know is that we need to talk."

I nodded my head and slumped down into the couch further.

" When are you going to let happiness, for once in your life, take over?You have punished yourself for too long, Edward." he said, his voice coming out strained.

" Something this good is bound to fall apart. That is my deepest fear..... to lose something so true and pure. I want to be happy, Jasper. I just don't know if I can allow it. I think it is best if I keep my distance and let Bella do what she came here to do."

Jasper spun around and faced me. He looked livid, his eyes dark, his face slightly red.

"Edward, I feel everything you are feeling. I know you are torn, but when you are with Bella it is like the sun has magnified it's brightness. I know you can feel that she has changed you. You need to stop running away. You need to embrace this gift that is standing before you. Stop being the scared little boy and be the man that she needs you to be."

I was taken aback by his words."Jasper, I want to love her and kiss her. I need to feel her arms around me and feel her breath upon my neck, to feel her hand clasped in mine as we walk down the street together. I wish for nights that will last forever where I can just devour her, make love to her, and show her my love. I want to fill her with every emotion she has given me. I want to make her whole the way she has made me whole. I want her lips to be forever attached to mine. But most of all I want to know that it will all be okay. I don't want to fear anything anymore. I don't want to damn her just by her being with me."

Jasper smiled. I could feel the calmness invade my room. My body felt limp and relaxed. He shook his head and chuckled. "Don't you see, Edward? She chose this path, she chose you. I don't need to be able to feel her emotions to know how she feels. I see it every time I look at her. She loves you, Edward. I have a feeling that she always has. I know that this is meant to be. When I saw her in your arms, it was perfect. You guys are molded to each other," Jasper said,exasperated as he sat down next to me.

"She deserves to be loved, and cherished. I know that deep down, you can give that to her. This is meant to be. Stop running and let things take their course. Let Bella love you, Edward. You deserve it, and she deserves you."

What Jasper had just said brought me back to my mother's letter. I knew I needed to give in. I felt it deep inside of me. I owed it to Bella not to be scared anymore.

"I want you to know Edward, that I'm not in any way trying to tell you how you should feel. I just know that after all this time you deserve to be happy. Bella knows what she is doing; trust her."

Jasper stood up and gave me one last look as he walked out of my room. I sat there in complete silence just staring at the wall. I contemplated my next move, But I knew that in order for this to work I had to throw caution to the wind, I had to surrender completely.

Laughter rang out from downstairs,my body was immediately filled with happiness.

Emmett bombarded my head with his thoughts. _Dude, Bella is so cool! She's actually kicking my ass!_

I shook my head and laughed to myself. I decided to go ahead downstairs. I yearned to stroke the keys of my baby grand. I had something inside of me, begging to get out.

With each step that I took on my way downstairs, I became increasingly happier. My thoughts centered on the conversation with Jasper. He was right, Bella had changed me.

Upon entering the living room, I was greeted with the sight of Emmett and Jasper trying to teach Bella how to play Halo. Emmett was more about trying to teach her how to kill the opponents, but Jasper was all about strategy.

Bella was becoming frustrated. The scowl on her face was actually rather cute,I shook my head and chuckled to myself She looked so serious. I pulled out my piano bench and sat down, hoping that Bella wouldn't really notice that I was behind her. I wanted to watch her, revel in her happiness. I was suddenly full of happiness myself. I was happy seeing her happy.

I listened to her laugh as I made myself more comfortable at my piano bench.

My fingers had a mind of their own as one cold, slender finger after another fell effortlessly onto the ivory keys. I softly pushed one down, and that opened up the floodgates that had been building up inside of me.

My fingers began to start the slow dance across the ivories. The soft, slow melody unbound itself from my cold, dead heart. With every finger that pushed down a key, my thoughts stayed centered on Bella.

The melody came effortlessly. It didn't even feel like any time had passed. It was as if time stood still.I felt alone in that room; no one there but me and my piano. Once the melody came to a close I opened my eyes slowly. The world came crashing back full force.

It was unusually quiet. The only sound that remained was a breath being drawn in and out. A heart that beat ever so slowly, The room had become void of my family. Bella and I were completely alone.

Bella had begun to walk towards me. She looked confident with each step she took, like nothing seemed to faze her. I stiffened my posture, not sure what to expect.

"That was absolutely beautiful Edward," she whispered, her voice uneven with emotion

"Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Bella sat down next to me; our shoulders gently grazed one another's. "Might I ask what you call that piece?"

I removed my fingers from the piano and reluctantly tore my gaze from her. I whispered softly, "I shall call it Bella's Lullaby. Although you don't sleep, I find it fits the melody perfectly." I looked up at her and was met with a loving smile.

Bella wrapped her arms around me and whispered into my ear, "That piece that you just played melted my heart and bound itself to my soul." Her lips slightly brushed against my ear. I bit my lip and shivered at the contact.

Tears were streaming down her lovely face. I softly kissed them away. Her tears tasted like the purest water that you could ever drink. Nothing tainted them, no taste of salt, or anything.

I kissed her cheek softly. My lips melted into her skin with the contact. I closed my eyes and breahted her in I was surrendering myself completely. I opened myself up to let myself feel everything that I had forbidden myself to feel before. It felt remarkable to suddenly trust myself, to trust her.

As I sat there, wrapped in Bella's arms, I found myself thankful that my mind was clear and only Bella and I remained.

I was knocked out of my inner musings when I felt Bella wiggle herself out of our embrace. As she sat more upright and faced me, my eyes wandered lazily across her face. I carefully studied her futures, her eyes, nose and lips. I closed the gap between us as I heard her breath hitch in her throat.

I had forgotten that she could read my mind. I shook my head and smiled to myself. I couldn't help but wonder just what she thought of my thoughts, she surely must have thought I was truly crazy.

Bella's fingers lazily made their way up my arm as I felt the electricity surge between us again. My eyes stayed glued on her lips. She had to have sensed just what I wanted, needed even. The one thing I wanted since I first locked eyes with her.

She ran her fingers through my hair as she closed the gap between us. My arms instinctively wrapped themselves around her tiny waist. And then she did what I least expected her to do. She kissed me. It was deep and soft. It conveyed every emotion that she was feeling in that moment, the love that she felt, that I felt even.. Our lips were dancing an intricate dance, and I didn't want to disconnect from those warm, luscious lips. Her heart was beating amazingly fast as I reluctantly pulled away from the kiss.

The kiss that we had shared was beyond wonderful, but the high I felt was short lived. I watched as a feather slowly fluttered down the ground.

I pulled my face away from hers. I felt the weight of that feather as it fell to the ground. It didn't feel lightweight to me; it felt like a boulder had crashed on top of me. The heaviness of the situation bearing down on me. The Guilt washed over me.

I saw my reflection in her eyes. My brow was furrowed, my gaze looking serious. The look I was giving her must have conveyed the anguish that I was feeling, the pain and uncertainty. "I am sorry love, so sorry. I have failed you, I have failed to keep you from me. I fear that I cannot stay away from you anymore and it hurts me to know that I have failed you."

"I told you that I would have to give something up," Bella whispered softly. She didn't appear to be the least bit sad when she said that. She seemed prepared to let the feathers fall where they may, so to speak. She didn't even look afraid of what awaited her. She must have obviously expected me to let her give up something like this up. I may have conceded defeat by her, but I couldn't let her give up her very existence for me

But obviously it must have been something she wanted. The look on her face gave her away. She was at ease, her smile widened. I guess in time I would have to find a way to be okay with it.

I needed her to just hold me and tell me that everything would be okay. I wanted to melt within her and never surface again.

"Edward, there is something you should know," she whispered as she pulled me even closer to her.

I looked down into her eyes; I kissed her forehead lovingly.

"I have loved you since the first time I saw you, Edward. I have loved you all these years. I even love you now."

She kissed me again, more intensely. Her lips pressed harder into mine, her tongue brushing against my bottom lip.

"I don't want you to run from me, Edward. I need you to love me too. I need you to want me."

Another feather fell.

"I don't want you to ever doubt us or me. I want you to have faith in me as I have faith in you. I want you to trust me as I trust you."

She buried her head in my chest and I immediately, almost as if it were second nature wrapped my arms around her.

"Tell me you feel the same," she whispered as more tears fell.

I held her tiny hand in mine and sighed. "Bella, I do love you, but I am scared. I need you to be patient."

She looked heartbroken.

"I want you and need you Bella. I want to have the faith and trust in you that I need to have. But first I need to place that faith in myself. I promise you I am getting there. I promise you that I will never hurt you. I promise I'll never turn my back on you. I need you just as much as you need me, if not more."

I kissed her. It was short and sweet but I hoped that she had felt the love that I had for her in that kiss. That kiss contained a thousand promises of forever.

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	7. Chapter 7Yours and Mine

This chapter is a bit shorter than most, but I felt it was a good length for what happens. I hope you all enjoy it!

Thanks to tiffanyanne3, aprilbaby19 as well as PTB for helping with this story! I really do appreciate it!

Thanks to all you readers and reviewers! I love that you take the time to read, and i love knowing what you are thinking!

This story has recently been nominated for a indie award:) so thanks!

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How do you move on from the best kiss you have ever had? My lips felt like they were on fire after the kiss that we had shared. She had branded me, made me hers. She had me trapped, but I was left wondering, where do we go from here?

My kisses had entailed a thousand promises of forever. Each time I kissed her I wanted to seal and deliver every promise that was made in each kiss that we shared. I didn't want to ever have to stop kissing her. The thought of never being able to kiss her actually pained me.

I felt like the room was spinning. It was a euphoric feeling. I was brought back down from my own heaven when I felt Bella trace my lips with her fingertips. I looked down at her; a coy smile was spread across her face.

"What is on your mind, Mr. Cullen?"

I looked into her eyes, my lips shaped into a half smile. "Well, I am thinking about some very important things, you for example."

Bella's eyes brightened as her smile got bigger. She nestled her head under my chin. I felt her chest move with every intake of breath. I inhaled deeply as I closed my eyes.

"I don't want to let go of you, Bella" I whispered as I let out the breath that I was holding.

Her arms gripped me tighter. "Then don't."

I ran my hands up her sides, making a trail up to her face. I softly cupped her face in my hands. My eyes stared into hers while I licked my lips, and her breath hitched.

"My love, kiss me, again, please."

She moved her head up as she closed her eyes pressing her lips to mine. They burned and ached, but in a good way. I moved my lips in sync with hers. Bella pulled away just as I heard a feather fall to the ground. She looked away shyly.

I placed my finger under her chin and pulled her face up to meet my gaze.

"Your kisses, I will never be able to get enough of them. They are like a drug to me. I need them to survive. Each kiss you give me jump starts my very soul...a soul I thought I never had until I met you."

Her eyes twinkled with unshed tears, her breath had grown uneven. She wound her fingers tightly in my shirt. I heard her sob softly to herself, her tears soaking into my shirt.

"Bella, please don't cry," I whispered, wiping her tears away.

My hands grasped Bella's small hand in mine as I pulled her with me, walking towards the stereo. I flipped it on and a soft, haunting melody flowed out the speakers.

"Dance with me, my love," I whispered, pulling her close to me. I wrapped her small arms around me, as I placed her left hand in mine, on top of my chest where a beating heart should have been.

I closed my eyes as our bodies began to sway with to the music. We began to slowly move in circles around the room.

"This night should never end, Edward"

I had to agree with her. I didn't want it to end either. I was perfectly happy and content dancing with her. She felt so perfect in my arms

"I don't want it to end either, love."

The song came to a close, and still I couldn't bring myself to un-wrap her arms from around me. We stood there perfectly still and silent. Enjoying the moment that I was sharing with her, I pressed my forehead against hers just reveling in this shared moment...it seemed too tender to let go of.

My fingers found their way to her hair, gently moving through the curls. I felt her body press more into me, anymore and we would have been one. She was relaxed. I laid my head on top of hers, still standing in complete silence. I refused to move.

As I stood there, I listened to the wind whistling through the trees as they swayed. I listened to her heart beat, her every breath. She was my symphony, my music that would bound itself to me and never let go. Every breath she took, every beat her heart made filled me with joy. There was no other place that I would have rather been than with her in that moment. It was pure bliss.

The feather that had fallen was menacing me, taunting me even. The moment that I was in with Bella was perfect. I didn't want to think about her losing anymore feathers or the ramifications that it would bring. I didn't want any more sadness, let alone heartache. I wanted happiness. My eyes wandered over to gaze at the feather again. Every time I looked at it I felt like my chest was caving in. I felt like my insides were twisting around each other, my brain full of questions. If I had a beating heart, it would have broken.

How could she allow herself to push her away her very existence? How can she be okay with this?

Bell inhaled a quick breath of air as she began to pull away from me. I knew then that she heard what I was thinking.

"Edward, I told you to trust me, you must trust me. I can't go on if you question me. I need you completely and honestly in this with me."

I looked away, over to the window, dropping my head slightly. "I want this with you; I want to not be afraid." My gaze left the window as my eyes wandered lazily over to Bella's standing form. "Bella, it's not that I don't trust you, or even us. I am just scared."

She inhaled sharply, and I could smell the tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I have wanted this life with you since the very day you were born. I knew then that my heart could and would never love another. I realize you're scared, but you need to give into what you're feeling, you need to give into us"

I wanted to do just that, I longed to do just that. If only it were that easy.

"I don't mean to question your very existence or even your very choice of choosing me. I am just not sure where to go from here."

Bella closed the distance between us and pulled me towards her. "Edward, you trust me that this is what I want. I need you, I need us. Just let go for once and stop questioning it." Her eyes found mine, and she licked her lips and moved up closer to me. She pressed her very warm lips against mine as yet another feather fell.

My chest felt heavy, like I was being torn from the seams. I tried in vain to hold in the sob that was straining to break free from me. "Bella," I paused as I eyed yet another feather that had fallen onto the floor beside me. "I don't know how to do this. As a man first, and a vampire second, how am I supposed to love you, protect you if, in order for you to love me back is for you to give up your very existence? You are giving it up every time we kiss, every time we are intimate in any way, you are losing a part of yourself. I don't know if I can allow myself to keep asking for you to do that. I don't know if I can live with myself knowing that you're giving up something sacred to your very being."

"Allow me to show you something, Edward. I want you to know that I am not supposed to do this."

She placed her hands on my both sides of my head, right up at the temples. "Close your eyes," she whispered.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly. My mind was flooded with thousands of images. The images were going through my brain at blindingly fast speeds. Eventually, they slowed down. She was showing me my birth; It seemed that I was seeing it through her eyes. The kiss she had given me as a newborn. I felt the warmth of my body against her lips. She had closed her eyes and inhaled as she kissed my cheek. Her chest felt like it was bursting with love, too strong to be contained. As she opened her eyes in the vision, her voice carried through my ears. "I knew that I would feel this, I know that this is right. I am yours forever Edward Masen. I will protect you until the end of my days. I will always be with you, always loving you. I can only hope and dream that one day, my dear love, that you will be mine."

Bella's hands fell from my temple and back down to her sides. Her heart rate was elevated, and her breathing was labored. I opened my eyes and was greeted with one more feather falling to the ground. Why did a feather fall? I didn't even kiss her!

"It took a lot to show that to you. I am not allowed to let you in on my thoughts. I hope now you will know just how much I love you and want this life for myself. I would have it no other way."

I pulled my love to me, holding her tightly. "I am yours, Bella, always yours. Don't ever give up on me; I will never give up on you. I want you, need you. I am simply yours, if you'll have me."

The love I had for her in that moment increased tenfold with that vision alone. I knew that she would allow me to be hers, but I needed her to hear it.

"I want you to be mine, Edward. Only mine."

I kissed her cheek as I held her hand in mine. As I held her in my arms,silence surrounding us, that everything would be okay, that everything would work out one way or another. It was all I needed to show me, tell me that I would always be hers.

"I know that Alice is on her way up, Edward, but I want more time with you, is that selfish of me?"

I shook my head no and grasped her hand tighter. I turned for my balcony -the doors already open. I glanced over at Bella and noticed a sly smile spread across her face. I swung her over my back and whispered, "Sorry, baby, no angel wings needed for this." I laughed to myself as I jumped off the balcony with Bella firmly on my back. Once I hit the ground I broke off into a sprint at full speed. I felt Bella's breath on my neck as she giggled while I ran through the trees.

"Just a little bit longer, love and we will be there"

"We are going to the meadow, aren't we?"

I nodded my head yes as we came to a stop. She slid off my back and sat down on the grass as she pulled down on my hand to have me sit next to her. I pulled her down with me as I laid on my back.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" I whispered as I exhaled a needless breath.

"I like to believe that we both got lucky, Edward"

The wind picked up a little as the clouds covered the setting sun. I looked over at Bella and was amazed by the beautiful creature that lay wrapped up in my arms. We both just laid there, staring up at the sky, watching the light fade and turn to dark. My cell phone chirped and I pushed it back down into my pants pocket and thought nothing of it.

I listened to the stream move through our meadow and the last of the animals settling in for the night. My phone chirped again and I looked at the display. Alice. Great, I thought to myself.

I felt Bella's body tense up. "Something is happening, Edward. I can feel it."

Bella shot up to her feet, wings outstretched.

The air began to smell putrid, sticky and kind of sweet but disgustingly sweet.

Wolves.

I listened to the padded footprints coming our way. My head was invaded with the thoughts of my siblings. Bella stood protectively in front of me.

Emmett came bounding through the trees just as the wolves stepped in front of us. He came running up in front Bella, growling and snarling as he crouched down.

"Wrong place to be, pups, I will tear you limb from limb. Lay one paw on anyone standing behind me and you will be no longer be howling for the moon," Emmett growled

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As always please review! I would love to know what you guys are thinking! Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8And Out Come the Wolves

I am so sorry this took so long. A lot of real life stuff has happened. I had a bit of writers block with this chapter, but its longer and more intense. I hope you like it and forgive me for taking so long.I want to thank tiffany, colleen as well pamela, sirenstarot as well as the lovely mrs S.I'd also like a special thanks to aciepey for helping me through this chapter.

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Emmett's growl echoed throughout the meadow as the wolves' shapes began to take form. Their paws pounding into the ground with each step they took. Each paw print that was etched into the ground just seemed to cement whatever fate awaited us. My eyes darted over every print that was burned into the earth. _Why were they here? What do they want with us? How can I keep this from not turning into an all out war?_

Our one true enemy was descending on us, and I could do absolutely nothing. All I could do was allow myself to stand behind Bella, and put my trust and faith in her. Emmett was another matter. Even though Bella was immortal, and an angel, he still wanted to be the big brother that took care of the fragile, little sister. Bella was in no way fragile; her wings spread out were proof of that.

I gave up on breathing once the putrid air engulfed us. The rest of my siblings, as well as my parental figures, hung back behind me as the wolves began to circle around us. Bella was still standing in front of me with her wings outstretched, her eyes scanning over every wolf, studying every form that had invaded our small meadow.

Emmett was still crouched down, ready to pounce if any wolf had decided to advance towards us. His eyes were full of rage, muscles tight, his body full of adrenaline and his mind full of plans of attack and what would be best for Bella. Emmett was more than ready for a fight.

My eyes darted to each wolf, back to Bella and then Emmett. My mind was buzzing with activity, not one thought could I center on. I tried to focus on the wolves, but they were too busy fighting amongst themselves for me to really get a clear thought. I did get snippets, but nothing that could possibly help us.

I could feel the adrenaline and excitement that was exuding from Jasper. He was strategizing, forming ways to take care of the wolves. The more adrenaline and excitement I felt from Jasper, the more I wanted to shred the wolves limb from limb. I wanted this over; I wanted to just be able to go back to laying down in my meadow next to Bella. I needed to just relax, have no worries, and certainly not have to deal with vile creatures such as those wolves.

Fourteen wolves in all surrounded us, their teeth bared, canines snapping as they growled and barked, their eyes wild and dark, black orbs that stayed fixated on my family and Bella. They were all mostly russet in color, long fur and tails whipping around wildly as they got more excited. The more I watched the movements the wolves made, the more I noticed how they watched every move we made; we were doing just the same.

One lone wolf remained in human form. I centered in on his mind. Seth was his name; he was very young looking, with short black hair and very dark, russet colored skin. His eyes were dark, brown color. I felt his eyes on me,so I stared right back at him.

The young boy's voice entered my head, "I am the one who you will address, Edward. You will not need to address the pack."

I canvassed the meadow, my eyes searched over every wolf that stood before us. I turned my face to my family. Worry blanketed Alice's as well as Esme's. Carlisle looked to be a statue, he wasn't sure whether to move, talk or just let things be. Jasper's eyes were continually scanning the wolves; his eyes, assessing Seth up and down. Jasper was thinking that he would be the first one he would take out. Rosalie was a different matter; she seemed calm, cool and collected. I am pretty sure if given the choice she would have much rather read a magazine than be out here, in a meadow, facing down wolves.

My body slowly turned around. I felt Alice tug on my shirt as she moved closer to me, and I can't see anything Edward, nothing at all. It's like everything happening is something being written in a book as we speak. I have no outcome, no plan, I have nothing. I am beyond scared." Alice moved back towards Jasper and I heard her breathing even out as she became calmer.

The wolves were becoming more and more anxious, the pads of their paws digging into the ground as I listened to their snarls and growls become louder, taking over what was once a very quiet night in the meadow. My chest felt heavy and my mind unsure. I wasn't feeling very confident at all. I knew it would be bad. I was afraid to even want to know how bad it would get.

My body found its way back behind Bella; she grasped my hand tightly, her wings still outstretched. Her shoulders were straight, she looked confident, not at all scared. She squeezed my hand once more as she slowly took a step forward.

"I want you to address me, I am here for them. Whatever you want or have to say will go through me." Bella's voice did not waiver once. It was confident, yet commanding.

My feet had a mind of their own; I slowly started walking towards Bella to be by her side once more. She shook her head and I heard her whisper, "Please, you must stay back." Her voice lost a little bit of its confidence as she whispered to me, the bad feelings coming back full swing.

A much darker, russet colored wolf strode along the others, encircling as he walked past. His eyes stayed on Bella as he bared his canines and a very deep, low growl escaped him. Two front paws leapt up, his back legs propelling him forward. Emmett stood up as the wolf lunged for Bella; he grabbed the young wolf by the neck and threw him back to the ground.

"Don't start something you know you won't finish, pup!" I watched as he made his way back in front of Bella, crouched down once again.

Seth looked over at the wolf, which was now lying on the ground, stunned by the actions taken by Emmett. The young boy walked towards the wolf, patted his torso and yelled at him to get up and go stand in line with the rest. I knew he wasn't the alpha. There was a much larger wolf that stood by him, he was more reddish in color than the rest. That must have been the alpha, because everywhere young Seth went, the larger wolf followed.

Seth walked away from the line of wolves towards Bella, his arms down at his sides, his eyes fixated on Bella. "You have no place among the cold ones; you are human, are you not?"

"I am not at all human. I am immortal, but not at all what you call a cold one. Can you not see my wings? I am an angel. I am here, like I said, for them."

Confusion flashed across Seth's face as he took a step back, his mind nothing but a chaotic mess. He was listening in on the pack as well as focusing on us, especially Bella.

As I looked past Seth, I noticed the wolves becoming more and more restless. None were in line with the rest, no complete circle to envelop us. They were preparing for an attack. Some wolves huddled with others. The one that I thought was the alpha was still by Seth, at the ready.

Bella no longer looked at Seth; instead, her eyes were searching for something. She was looking out past the wolves, into the trees behind them. Her breath hitched, and her hands balled into tiny little fist. She chanced a glance back at me and mouthed the words, "they are here."

I tried to look where she was looking, but saw no one, didn't even hear a single thought. Whatever was out there definitely interested Bella; by her stance I wasn't sure if it was good or bad.

"Emmett, stand, now!" Bella tugged on the collar of his shirt. I had never heard her voice have such urgency in it before. Her eyes still fixated on the forest behind the wolves. Whatever was out there had her on guard. She lowered her head to the ground, her wings slumped forward. She looked up again, out to the forest and something in her eyes flickered. It reminded me of a candle being lit, first the light flame as the intensity builds, then nothing but the brightness of the flame, orange and red.

Bella sighed and turned around to face my family. "I need you to trust me, completely. Now is the time to really put your faith in me. It's going to be okay, I need you to realize that. Just trust me." She turned around to Emmett. "Now, Emmett, now!"

Emmett took a defensive stance in front of Bella just as a smaller, more reddish colored russet wolf lunged. Emmett's arms flew up and met the wolf's neck in mid-air. He quickly slammed the wolf down to the ground. The young wolf whimpered as he laid there.

"Paul, no!" Seth was now running towards him at full speed. The alpha broke away from Seth and started running straight for Emmett and Bella. I quickly ran, meeting him half way, our bodies colliding with an earth shattering impact. Paul, the alpha, from what I gathered from Seth's mind, had skidded across the ground. I heard his labored breaths. I slowly stood up, shaking off the force of the impact, and looked back at Emmett. I slightly nodded as I took my place, once again behind Bella.

The growls and snarls intensified and the eyes of the wolves' grew darker, hungrier even. The alpha and beta still lying on the ground, barely moving but breathing. The pack was without its leaders now. They were free to do whatever they pleased. Their claws began to dig into the earth as their paws hit the ground. The wolves were easily becoming more excited, anxious even.

Jasper had now taken his place next to Emmett; they were whispering strategies back and forth to each other. My eyes flickered to Bella. They no longer carried the light they had before. Her eyes were more sorrowful, dark. Her eyes met mine, and they contained a thousand emotions. Worry, fear, sadness, but most of all I could see the love in them. She looked away from me. I noticed the wolves had started to descend upon us.

Emmett and Jasper moved up in front of the family, but apart from each other. Rosalie and Alice faced the wolves that were now moving in on us from behind, Esme and Carlisle split up and took up the sides that faced the wolves. Bella stood behind Emmett, her wings still fairly outstretched and I took up flank alongside Jasper. We had now made our own circle; it was our only defense now against the wolves.

Every one of us, except Bella, was crouched down, our teeth bared. Low snarls were escaping our chests. We were letting our stance be known. Don't mess with us. You'll regret it in the end.

It was almost as if I was sitting in a movie theater, and the biggest fight scene was moving in slow motion. All of the wolves descended on us, some running, others leaping in the air towards us. The first two wolves that stalked towards me met the air, then the ground.

Wolf after wolf fell to the ground. Whimpers and yelps took over the night air with each thud to the ground. I glanced over at Bella just as I had kicked a wolf away from me; her gaze was still fixated on the trees. I tried in vain to see whatever she saw there, but once again I saw nothing.

I watched as every member of my family fought off the wolves, my eyes searching over everybody, making sure no one was injured. The wolves were beginning to look weaker, some, I am sure some wanted to give up on the fight. They had to have known it was a battle that wasn't meant to be won.

Just as I went for a wolf that was coming at me, the ground shook with thunder as rain began to pelt the earth. The wind seemed to pick up more fiercely as the rain fell to the ground, harder and faster. The wolves backed up slightly, huddling together as the rain came down in torrents. Seth was in the middle of the clearing, standing next to the alpha, Paul, who was lying on the ground.

I watched on as Seth started to walk across the clearing towards Bella, the wind picking up more with each step that he took. The wolves were regrouping, getting ready to advance on us once more. They were not at all ready to give up. Each wolf that my eyes met looked determined, their eyes in narrow slits, bodies tall and proud, exuding pure confidence.

My eyes wandered back to Bella, her gaze still searching the woods, wings still outstretched and soaked completely by the rain. Just as Seth made it to the middle of the clearing, Bella quickly turned her head, facing him, her eyes wide.

"This has to stop!" Bella yelled as she looked on at Seth.

The wolves did not once falter. They remained huddled together, eyes fixated on Seth and Bella, watching their every move, every breath that was being taken.

Emmett and Jasper hung back, eyes looking intently at Bella, waiting to see what her next move would be. Alice came and stood by me, her shoulders slumped; she looked defeated.

"It hurts not knowing what will happen. I'm scared for all of us, for Bella especially. I want this fight over, done with. I want Bella to come home with us, and be safe. Alice looked over at Jasper, allowing herself to become calmer once more.

Esme and Carlisle just stood close together. Carlisle silently assessed the situation. Esme was worried for her children-she was chanting over and over in her head that nothing would happen to any of them, not even Bella.

"This can't go on, Seth. No good could come of this. You know it, I know it, everyone here knows it. This is a battle not meant to be won. We need to walk away, before certain actions can't be taken back." Bella crossed her arms as she looked at Seth, then back toward the forest. She nodded to whatever she saw out in the woods.

Seth looked back towards his pack, his eyes narrowed in on one wolf in particular, Jacob. He held up his hands, making a gesture to stop whatever he was thinking, to not come any further.

Somehow the atmosphere had shifted, had become more electrified. Between the wolves, my family and Bella, the air had come to a whole new level. Things were about to get a whole lot more interesting.

My family huddled closer together behind Bella. Carlisle came up behind me, his voice invading my head. "Things are not going to end well, are they? Everything seemed to have shifted. Bella seemed so confident, now as I look on, her shoulders are slumped and her eyes have lost that glow."

So much for positive thinking, thanks Carlisle. I was afraid to answer him, afraid to face the reality of the situation that we all found ourselves in. I knew deep down that none of this would have a good ending.

My eyes darted over to Bella and then to the trees. The wind had picked up even more, making the trees sway violently. For a moment, I was sure that I had seen a golden light blurred in the swaying tree branches. I looked over at Bella, staring at her, trying desperately to see if she saw what I might have seen. Her stance shifted, her body angled less towards Seth and more towards the woods.

"Edward, remember what I said about trusting me and having faith?" Her eyes flickered back to the forest momentarily. " I need you to promise me that whatever happens, you must trust me, never doubt my actions."

I had a very awkward feeling dwelling inside of me. I didn't know what exactly I should call it; all I knew was that I was now anxious, scared even more than before. I didn't care about the wolves or what was out in the forest. My thoughts, my cold dead heart, my whole being was now centered on Bella. I couldn't, I wouldn't allow myself to lose her.

My family fanned out as the wolves began to move back into formation again, readying for another attack. Seth stood in front of Bella, arms crossed, head down to the ground. He was defeated; he had no way of telling the others to stand down. This was the beginning of the end, and he knew it.

"Call the wolves off Seth; this is your last warning." Bella said, looking slightly annoyed.

Seth held up his hands as he shook his head no. "Whatever happens is meant to happen. The bloodsuckers brought this on themselves. If we hadn't have smelled a human, we wouldn't have even stepped foot in the meadow tonight."

"I am not human. I am immortal, just like them. I only smell human to you, simply because you are a shape shifter, half- being, you can't even see my wings. Therefore, I am human to you. You have started a war over nothing, and now lives will be taken, lost forever for ignorance and selfishness. Blood will be spilled because of you and your need to not ask questions first. Half beings are so full of fight, you never seem to think." Bella said, eyes in half slits as she curled her tiny hands into a little fists.

"We did this to protect you, a human, an angel, whatever you are, I don't care. You don't belong with them."

Bella's head turned back towards the trees. "That is my choice. I know what I'm doing. I feel it's right. I am with them to protect, love, honor and be loyal. I am here for them, only them." Her eyes grew wide as the trees that lined the forest shook. She looked back at Seth. "Let's end this now, I want this over with."

Seth turned his back to Bella, walking towards his pack. At the flick of his hand the wolves bound off into a full on sprint, and headed straight, for us once again.

Emmett and Jasper crouched low. I stood by Bella, Carlisle on her other side. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie stood off to the sides, standing like statues.

The rain pelted our faces as the wind whipped through the night air. The first yelp I heard came from a wolf that Jasper was now holding by the throat. He immediately flung him to the ground, knocking the breath out of the young wolf.

More wolves began running at us at full force. Emmett kicked and punched a few that had descended on him, flinging a few here and there. Carlisle grabbed a wolf by the neck, pushing it into the ground, a cry and sharp yelp broke the night air. The young wolf's neck was broken.

Wolves were falling, yelping and whimpering. Becoming more defeated by the second. Wolves were strewn about the meadow, some lying, others trying lazily to get up off the hard ground. I looked around at my family and noticed one vital person was missing.

Bella.

In the midst of all the chaos that surrounded us, she had disappeared. My eyes searched for her frantically and I finally found her. I spotted her wings as she navigated her way through the meadow in the pouring rain, stepping over injured and barely breathing wolves to get to the forest. She was more than halfway to the tree line, her back facing us.

Everything was quiet, too quiet. I ran my eyes over the wolves bodies, counting them up. One was missing. I looked over at Seth. His eyes were fixated on one, standing wolf. Jacob.

All of us stayed glued into place, my eyes fixated on Jacob. I heard Esme's breath hitch as I watched Jacob snarl and run off into a full sprint straight for Bella. I wanted to move, save her, but I couldn't.

I had to trust her, have faith in her. I had a feeling that all along she knew what the outcome of all of this would be. She knew this would never end in a good way and I had to trust her, love her and hope that everything would work out, just as she said it would.

Jacob leapt through the air, claws extended. A loud sob pierced the meadow. I watched solemnly as Jacob's claws ripped down Bella's back, blood seeping from her fresh wounds. Jasper snarled as Emmett held him back. This would be the wolves undoing.

Bella fell to the cold ground of the meadow, sobs taking over her body. She was in pain. I didn't want her in pain. I ached for her, hurt for her.

I felt my feet push off from the ground and I ran as fast as I could towards my angel. My keen hearing picked up wings fluttering up above my head. I looked over to the forest, nothing to be seen at all. I looked up and saw nothing. My eyes made their way to Bella's body. I knelt down beside her, clutching her to me. I felt the blood soaking into my pants, her tears soaking into my shirt. I leaned down and kissed her cheek softly; wiping away her tears with each kiss I placed upon her.

"It's going to be okay, love. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Bella, my sweet angel, I love you, I trust you, all my faith in this world is placed in you." I kissed her again on the lips as lightly as I could. She sighed softly.

The sound of wings fluttering grew louder, more intense. I saw a bright light, like fire shooting overhead. I looked down to the ground. There stood a mighty sword, the blade on fire as it protruded out of the ground.

"Michael," Bella whispered.

The fluttering stopped and down came two beings with very large wings, One with shoulder length brown hair, the other had short blond hair. I looked to Bella and then to the others and onto my family. I didn't want to lose her.

"You must back away from her, or else I am afraid I will not be able to help her," the blonde angel said as he took a step closer towards us. He kneeled down, slowly picking Bella up into his arms as I reluctantly let go of her. I had to trust her, I must trust her.

My family began to walk towards us, but I was too centered on Bella to really even care about what my family was even thinking as they strode across the meadow.

Michael, the other angel, turned to face the wolves. His booming voice alarmed them as they shot up, standing at attention. "What happened here today will not be repeated. You injured an angel, and that is punishable by death. This angel is special, very special to even the undead. You will not step foot in this meadow ever again. You are never to cross paths with the cold ones. Are we clear?" The wolves tails tucked between their legs as they ran off; Seth shifted quickly to catch up. The battle was over, and in the end no one really won.

The brown -haired angel turned to my family and then onto Bella, who was laying in blonde-haired angel's arms, tears running silently down her face. "We must take her. She is beyond any healing you can offer her now." His eyes shifted onto me. "Expect me in a few days time. We will talk, we have much to discuss." Michael picked up his sword. The flames slowly died out.

My family looked defeated. Esme clung to Carlisle as he wrapped his arms around her. Emmett's shoulders slumped forward, his eyes cast towards the wet ground. Rosalie stood there, arms crossed, looking helpless. Jasper was forcing sadness out as it being the only emotion he felt. He tried to hold Alice back, but she broke free. She ran towards Bella as sobs shook her body.

"I am so sorry, Bella, I couldn't-"

Bella held up a lone feather. She gently placed it into Alice's outstretched hand. Alice's eyes glazed over. She was having a vision. I was too emotionally drained to care what it was. She blinked her eyes as the vision ended, and the feather disintegrated into a pile of ash in her cold, pale hand. She looked over at me and smiled weakly.

The blonde Angel began to walk away with Bella in his arms. I went to stand up to touch her one last time, but the angel just kept walking, taking her farther away from me. And in that instant, I felt my knees give out. I fell to the ground, collapsing hard onto the cold earth. I heard no sounds, nothing but silence. As my knees dug further into the earth, I began to ball up the cold, wet dirt into my hands. I had to feel something, anything to make me realize that this was real. This nightmare was truly happening.

I didn't care for anything; nothing mattered but the one thing that I wanted the most. But that was being taken from me. I had no choice in the matter, no control. I let my body sprawl out as I clutched at the dirt, sobs taking over my cold, dead body. I needed her, wanted her, but there she was, fading away into the night.

I was broken. I was alone.

My world was shattering into tiny pieces, and all I could do was lie there, unable to move, to feel.

My whole world had just ended.

My angel was being taken from me.

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I really worked hard on this chapter to get it just right! I hope you enjoyed it, this chapter by far is probably one of my favs to have written.

Please, review! I always want to know what your thinking, what your favorite parts were or even lines. Thanks again for reading.

I now have twitter /myheroin1 you may follow me, I will give updates. If you want my facebook acct. pm me.

Also, one last thing, I want to put a play list together for this fic. If any of you have any ideas on songs please pm me. Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9Finding Home Again

I hope you all like this chapter as much as I do. It was a bit difficult to write. I am warning you now, it is emotional.

I want to thank my betas, I seriously don't know what I would do without you guys. Anyways read and enjoy!

One last thing, I am now allowing anonymous reviews! So, please take the time to review. I really do appreciate it.

I don't own anything twilight related

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I was afraid to blink, afraid I would lose that last glimpse I had of Bella being carried away. I didn't want to lose that. I wanted it to be engraved in my mind forever, just in case she never came back to me. But she had to come back to me, she was my angel, and I knew deep down we were bound together. We were destined for forever, I knew that now. I just had to allow myself the patience that I needed to get us both there.

As I looked out into the darkness, I was reminded once again why I felt so alone, and for the first time in my life I was scared. I was without her and she was gone. I didn't get the luxury of having her in my arms, telling me that it was all okay. I couldn't even steal a tender kiss or look into her chocolate brown eyes. She hadn't even been gone an hour and already my heart was breaking, shattering with her absence. Bella had been everything new for me. She was my first and only love. Now, she was my first and only heartbreak.

The second that Bella was out of my eyesight, I was determined to never leave this spot. I couldn't bring myself to get up and walk away without her. My biggest fear was that if I walked away, I would miss her return. It was a childish fear really, but I still feared it none the less.

The rain had finally cleared up, and the wind died down. I couldn't hear anything but silence. Silence and loneliness engulfing the space all around me. The silence grew more and more deafening by the minute, pricking my soul like a sharp pinprick; hurting me from the inside out.

Loneliness was the ultimate punishment to a vampire. It made time drag slower and the pain seep in deeper, until it grabbed a tight hold around your very soul. A soul that I shouldn't even have, a soul that Bella had re-energized, one that she made me realize I had all along.

I was honestly, truly nothing without her. She made me feel complete and at home.

I lay down on the cold, hard ground, just as I had hours before with Bella. I inhaled the scent of rain and lavender, I let it make its way deep inside me. When I inhaled deep enough I smelled freesias with a hint of strawberries. My Bella. I held my breath, I wanted to keep her inside me, close to me. I didn't want to exhale, afraid of losing that last bit of her I still had with me.

Closing my eyes, my thought centered on how much my life had changed with Bella here. My life had light in it whenever she was around. She had brought love back to me, gave me a reason for living this worthless existence. My days were endless without her, my angel. I missed her. I missed who I was when she was here. I looked up to the sky, scanning over the stars. I had never, in my entire time on this earth, ever felt so alone. I had walked into dark territory, and my beacon wasn't there to guide me.

My fingers wove themselves through the strands of wet grass and leaves, my eyes trained on the sky above me. No clouds, just stars. It seemed so calm, at peace. If only my world was at peace, everything would be fine. I glanced at my watch; it was a quarter to three in the morning. Time went tortuously slow.

"I really wish you would come home."

I shot up off the ground and spun around to the source of the voice. There stood Alice, her face sad and worn. She was fidgeting from side to side, pulling at her pockets on the long sweater that she was wearing. I realized then that my family had long since left, afraid to stay around, to see me fall apart in Bella's absence. They knew I needed my space, a chance to breathe and think. I was almost thankful for it, but I still needed them, anything to somehow make Bella's absence easier.

"I don't want to leave, Alice. I can't leave. I don't belong anywhere but here." I whispered as I looked over at her. She was looking down at the ground, shaking her head slowly.

"The wait will be much easier if you're at home. You have your music, your books, everything to keep you busy. But, most of all you have us!"

"My books, my music, none of that matters without Bella. They are worthless distractions. You guys, on the other hand, I need you all, but I refuse to move. I will not go back home without Bella."

Alice began to walk closer to me, closing the distance between us. I inhaled sharply, I knew she was up to something. Unfortunately, she had her mind closed off to me.

"Edward," she said as she sighed, "I know that none of this is easy, and I know I can't possibly make it all okay. When Bella said to trust her, she meant it. She's not scared, Edward, in fact she's very confident."

I exhaled, running my fingers through my hair and down the back of my neck.

"How can you be so completely sure of this? Are you not scared for Bella, or do you know something I don't?" I searched her wide eyes, no clouded look, just blank.

Alice brought her hand to mine and gently grasped it, squeezing softly. "Do you remember Bella handing me that feather? I am sure you noticed that I had a vision, that I saw something?" I nodded, ushering her to continue. "What I saw, Edward, was Bella returning in three days. I also saw that she was happy, not scared. That she was sure of what she was doing. You honestly need to realize that Bella knows what she wants, and Edward, what she wants will always be you, always."

In Alice's words I found my forever. Always. Always with Bella. I honestly wanted it no other way. I wanted a chance at forever, an eternity with my angel. I never wanted to be without her again.

"I realize this is useless, Edward, but won't you please just come home and wait?"

I shook my head no as I looked up and watched Alice walk off. Alone once again. I felt the darkness creep up on me. The familiar pangs of loneliness gripped me and dragged me under as I pulled my knees up to my chest. I sat there, just looking out into nothing. I don't know how long I sat there exactly. The sun started to come up. It had been too long without Bella.

The orange-yellow hues came up over the horizon, creeping over the mist that had engulfed Forks. I loved watching the sunrise. It brought the markings of a new day, with new possibilities. It often reminded me why I was still on this earth. To see beauty and love in the rarest of forms. To live, to breathe, to just be here, now that I had a reason for living, I had a lot more sunrises to meet and sunsets to say goodbye too. I no longer wanted to just check the days off as I went on with my life. I wanted to sincerely enjoy each day, love it. I knew that would be possible with Bella by my side.

Again, the reminder of her absence was back. I wouldn't be able to get around it. It would always be there on my mind. It wouldn't go away until she was with me, in my arms and kissing me. I planned then, to never let her go, ever. She belonged here with me, nowhere else.

I stood up and began to walk around. My feet dragged along the dewy grass. It was here in this meadow that I found her, or rather she found me. Although, to be honest I belonged to her the day I was born. It was also here in this meadow that I fought for her and for our family. I also lost her in this meadow. My shoulders slouched forward at the thought. The next three days were to be hell on earth. She was my heaven, and I would have to wait for it.

The sun was unusually bright today. I knew, with how far the house was from the meadow, none of my family would be making an appearance today. I also knew that even had I decided to go home I would have to wait until the sun went down.

So I paced around the meadow, sitting here and there. Eventually I gave up completely and lay down on the grass. The sun felt warm, but I felt empty. I closed my eyes, surrounding myself in thoughts of Bella. The way her hair framed her face and cascaded down her back. The way it felt silky when I ran my fingers through it. What I loved the most was something I rarely received. I loved her kisses, her soft lips pressed firmly against mine. I continued to lie there, letting thoughts of Bella move through my mind. I didn't care to open my eyes again. I just wanted the day to pass quicker.

The next time I opened my eyes it was raining again, but dark. The wind had picked up as well. I sat up, and looked out across the meadow. One full day without Bella and it broke me apart. It hurt to be away from her. It wasn't right, it didn't feel right at all.

I heard him before he spoke.

"Hi, Carlisle," I whispered, knowing that he would hear me. I didn't bother turning around to face him.

His left hand clasped my shoulder, and he squeezed. He was trying to be reassuring, but his thoughts were giving him away. Uncertainty and fear clouded his thoughts. He was so worried with what was going on, to really try and block anything from me. I couldn't blame him really. Had I been in his position, I probably wouldn't care to block either.

Carlisle sat down beside me. I heard him sigh as I looked over and noticed the sadness in his eyes. Clearly I wasn't the only one that was missing Bella.

"I want you to know, Edward that I am hurting. Maybe not as much as you, but I feel as if I lost a daughter today." His gaze wandered over to me, our eyes met, and we mirrored each others sadness. I wasn't sure what I should feel, say, or even do.

Carlisle shifted uncomfortably as he looked up to the sky. " To be honest Edward, these last few months I have been questioning my existence on this earth. Bella coming here only made me question a god I have always believed in, one form or another. I knew deep that there had to be more to heaven and hell and even our existence. It doesn't matter whether we are human or vampires; we still have an order in this world. We still have love to give and receive." He looked up to the sky, closing his eyes. "Bella coming here was meant to be. She was meant for you, for this family. I have never asked for a better daughter, and I will be even more damned than I already am if we all lose her."

I drew in a shaky breath, bringing my hands through my hair once again out of frustration. I wished beyond anything that I could be able to grab her and bring our heaven and light back to us. She belonged nowhere else but here, with us.

"Alice said that she would come back, she has to come back. It's the wait, the hurt that's killing me, Carlisle. I am missing a part of me I never knew existed. It's almost as if I can't breathe without her, move without her. She took my love with her when she left, she has my non-existent heart by the veins. I don't want a life without her in it." I looked over at Carlisle, my gaze growing more intense. " I will truly die if I she doesn't come back. Every moment that my love is gone, I grow impossibly more colder. The light she brings is gone; my purpose for breathing and being has disappeared. In all my years, Carlisle, I never knew love like this could exist. And I wouldn't trade it for the rarest jewel in the world."

"Once love touches us, it never leaves. We are forever changed by it. Obviously, you and Bella are more than meant to be."

I just nodded my head as I glanced out over the meadow. I watched as the light breeze shot over the grass and dried leaves. Time was slowly crawled along, punishing me. Every moment without her paralyzed me. I felt that at any moment I'd give in, but I would stay here and remain, only for her would I wait.

"Love is a funny thing, Edward. It surprises us when we least expect or much less want it. But, when it does find us, it is truly a thing to be cherished. The way you look at Bella, the way she looks at you, I know it's as true as love could ever be. These past few months I saw you the happiest I have ever seen you. I don't want you to lose that light that she has given you. Hold on to it; don't let it go. The love that Bella has given to you, to all of us really, is extraordinary. One that I know you, nor I will ever forget."

I watched as Carlisle's gaze shifted from the sky, across the meadow, then over to me. He sighed deeply, "She could have chosen to give up on you the moment you were changed, and no longer a part of the human world. She could have gone on doing whatever she did before you were born, but instead she chose you, she chose this life, Edward. Something told her that you were it for her, the only one she could ever love. To her, you're worth giving up her feathers for. I can see it in her eyes; she wants more, an eternity. She wants forever with you. I honestly believe she's at home with you, Edward."

It was rare for me to be moved by such things, but the words and the emotion behind what Carlisle was told me gripped me, claiming their stake onto my very soul. He spoke the truth, he spoke exactly how I felt. It really, honestly didn't hurt to be reminded, but to hear it from Carlisle meant so much more to me.

I just sat there, absorbing everything Carlisle had said to me, letting it sink in. I was sure my mind was bound to reach its emotional breaking point. I took everything in, and had a hard time processing it. It's not that I didn't care what was being said to me, it was the fact I only cared for one thing; Bella. I found it harder with each passing moment to really focus on anything but her. She was my world now. I revolved around her.

"Thanks, Carlisle. It honestly does mean a lot to me for you to talk to me. I know you care and have love for Bella. I really do appreciate everything you have done for me," I whispered softly, smiling at Carlisle.

He nodded his head and offered a smile back. "I know that nothing I say will make you change your mind, so I will take my leave. Know that we all love you, Edward, and want to see you and Bella home soon." He stood up and slowly began to walk away. My eyes stayed on his retreating form.

"I love you, my son," I heard him whisper softly as he walked into the forest.

I willed my body to lie back down on the hard ground. The silence was back again. I closed my eyes as I lay there for awhile, my thoughts wavered back and forth between Bella and the fight with the wolves. I tried everything to get my mind on something else, but she was always there, surrounding me.

I thought back to the first kiss we shared and the way the feather fell. The look on Bella's face wasn't one of hurt. She looked like she was expecting it and was' I guess you could say relieved'. I ran my fingers over my lips, thinking of every kiss we had ever shared.

And that was when it happened, my breaking point. I had reached it.

My face stung, I couldn't figure out why. I ran my hands up to my face. I thought maybe it was the rain again. Just colder than that last rain. But it wasn't. I wiped my eyes and brought my finger down to my mouth to taste the cold liquid. The liquid wasn't at all salty. It tasted extremely bitter.

I was crying venom.

Each venom-filled tear that fell stung like a thousand pin pricks scraping against my cold, hard skin. Each tear brought a dry, heaving sob. The sobs were becoming forceful now, more loud. My chest heaved with each sob, my face burned from the many tears I had cried.

My fist pounded at the earth out of anguish and sadness. I continued to cry, deep sobs escaped me. I felt as if I were breaking apart at the seams. The sobs came from deep within me. The loneliness, the hurt that I felt poured out into the night.

I cried for my love for Bella. For every kiss and for every time our hands clasped together, fingers intertwined. I cried for every stolen night cuddled up together, talking about anything that came to mind. I cried for every kiss I had yet to receive, for every hug, cuddle, anything that involved my Bella.

Anything that made me feel loved, hurt and alone. I cried.

My face burned, tear lines sketched down my checks. I didn't even try to wipe them away. I felt that in some way this pain was my penance for not properly protecting Bella, for letting her go, for not having the control I so desperately wanted over the situation. The control to have kept her here with me, to not have been in danger.

The more my chest ached, the more I allowed myself to sob. And in that moment I realized I was missing so much, so much of myself missed the part she had taken with her. My love, my heart, my very soul. But, I gained something; her devotion and love. Every thought that I had was of her, even though she was not there. In a way she was still protecting me. My thoughts of her carried me through my darkest night. Another night without her.

I continued to lie there, crying and sobbing. Eventually, I had no more tears to cry, no more venom to expel. That was how I knew I was broken. The emotions finally split me apart. I never in my one hundred plus years of existence ever cried venom.

I was broken, a barren wasteland without her.

The sky grew lighter, and soon the sun was up again. Another day to endure. Countless hours left reminded me of what wasn't here with me, of what I needed the most.

My body refused to move, my limbs seemed to be frozen. So I closed my eyes, willing time to somehow go faster, daring it even.

I kept my eyes closed, my thoughts still buzzed with Bella. This time I thought of her voice, how sweet it sounded.

"You must trust me, Edward."

"I love you, Edward." That last thought reverberated in my mind. The sweetness of her voice carried itself through my head. I wanted to tell her a thousand times how I loved her, but even then that didn't seem enough.

I rubbed my hands across my face as I sat up, the morning mist making an appearance as the sun sat higher up in the sky. I stretched my legs, slowly stood up. I felt tired, worn down, like I had the life force drawn out of me. I canvassed the meadow, looking for the stream. As I walked towards it, I couldn't help but think how anxious I was, how badly I wanted her there with me. I was aching, aching for her.

My hands cupped water up from the stream and I splashed my face, hopefully cleaning off the dried tears of venom. I scrubbed my face fiercely. I sat back, watching the water from the stream move through the meadow. The breeze shot through, and I closed my eyes, trying desperately to smell her scent again, to smell anything that would remind me of her.

"You honestly love her, don't you?"

I didn't even hear Michael approach me. I was too lost in my thoughts.

"Yes, I love her, more than you could ever possibly know," I said, a slight sob escaped me.

Michael stood across the stream, his eyes cast down to the water.

"How is she?" I said, as I stood and placed my hands in my back pockets of my jeans.

Michael took in a deep breath as he looked over at me. " She is fine, misses you terribly. I must say that I have never heard her cry like she has for the past two days. From the moment you were born, this is the longest she has ever been without you."

My knees wanted to buckle; I didn't like the thought of Bella crying or being in any kind of pain. Whether it was caused by me, or a pack of wolves.

"Why don't we go and sit down. I have a lot I want to talk to you about."

I nodded my head as I walked away from the stream and toward the middle of the meadow.

" I believe, Edward, that I seem to owe you somewhat of an apology. You see, I had more than one intention when I took Bella. I wanted to see if what she was doing was worth it. That you love her as much as she has always loved you. I needed the reassurance." Michael looked down at me, his eyes held a sadness I had only seen once before. And that look was worn by Bella. His eyes flashed up at me, a golden light passed through them.

I had nothing to say, I couldn't think of anything really. All I knew was that I needed to listen and listen carefully to whatever he was going to tell me.

"It is not that I wanted to see you or her hurt over each other's absence, it is simply due to the fact that Bella is like a daughter to me. I have watched her grow as an angel, I have watched her stumble and fall, and yet manage to catch herself every time. Bella is very special to me. I want to know that I am losing her to something good, something worthwhile. I wanted to know that the love I was seeing between you two was something I could let her chase after." He sighed as he looked over at me. "Never in my thousands of years on this earth, or even in heaven have I ever encountered a love as strong as yours, and that my son, is worth fighting for."

My chest felt heavy, my unneeded breaths became shorter. "I want you to know that I have never loved someone as much as I do her. I have never wanted anyone more. She makes me feel alive, like I am something worth loving after all."

He flashed a smile at me, nodding his head slowly. "Before I get into what I want to ask you, I believe that I should tell some things that need to be told. I am guessing that you often wonder why Bella chose now to lose her wings?" I simply nodded. "She's tired Edward, she's worn down. She was meant to be an angel, but she's capable of much more. She yearns for love, to feel tied to this world. Bella was simply made to love you Edward. She was made for you, only you. You see, it is rare when an angel finds love and wants to pursue it. She's loved you for one hundred and five years Edward, her heart just couldn't take the loneliness anymore. She needed you as much as you needed her. You are two puzzle pieces locked into place never meant to ever break apart. Her eternity belongs with you, in your arms."

I was speechless; no words could come out. My voice remained hidden, words escaped me. It was like with every word he had said to me, had stitched my lips shut.

"She is your fate, your destiny. Just as you are hers. No more, no less. Your souls have already knew each other from the beginning of time. And now, you can truly be one."

I felt the seam breaking open, the stinging on my cheeks, the tears flowing silently down my face. My hand brushed across my cheek, wiping the tears away. I had found my absolution, my certainty in his words. I knew what my plans were for sure now. There was no giving up. I was fighting for us, for our future, for eternity.

I heard a rustling sound and I noticed Michael's wings were spread out. They shook in the wind, individual feathers moving freely.

"I remember the first time Bella walked out of heavens gates to her first human. She looked so sure of herself, but her eyes gave her away. She was scared and second guessing herself. Her wings flew open, and down she went. It was five years after she was born in heaven, and her first person she helped was a nineteen-year-old boy. He had been stabbed several times, viciously. I followed her down, staying closely behind. She grabbed the young boy up in her arms, her wings surrounding him completely. Her fingers wove through his hair, her hand made it's way to lie on top of his heart. Her voice was soft and sweet. Never wavering or showing fear. She whispered into his ear that she was there with him. That he was safe and that it was okay to close his eyes. I watched her tears fall as his last breath came and went. She hasn't changed, Edward, she's still the same angel she was before. Only now, she knows what it is she wants. She is free to go."

My mind was scrambling with all the new information. I was simply trying to absorb it all. I didn't think it was possible, but I felt I loved Bella even more then.

"She was the same when you were changed, Edward. Your last breath broke her, but deep down she knew it was meant to be. She knew someday you two would have a future. She didn't need to hope for it. It would happen, she was sure of it."

"Thank you for telling me all of this, Michael. I think I needed to hear that." I offered a smile and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. "I can smell her on you, I'll never forget that smell."

He smiled as he stood up slowly. "We spend too much time walking through the lives we live, and the motions of day to day things. Never really giving much thought to our true purpose or meaning. We just float on by, expecting things to never change. But, when it comes down to it, all there is, is love, devotion and thoughts. All we need is love, and we will live. It's worth living for." His eyes gleamed as he looked up to the sky. "You always had a purpose, Edward. Never doubt that. You were always worth it. Never second guess where you stand in the order of things."

We had been talking so long that night had begun to fall, and for once time had seemed to move quickly. The sun was setting and the moon slowly made an appearance. I stood up, and walked to where Michael was standing. I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes. I knew he had more to say, and I was still speechless.

He turned to face me, slowly pivoting on his feet. "I need to know your intentions. What are your plans? Do you plan to give her forever?"

My eyes shot open as I bit my lip. My hands moved through my hair, something I often did when nervous. "I know that I want to have a forever with her, yes. I plan to change her when the time comes. If there is anything this absence has taught me, it is that I don't ever want to be without her again. I also hope to one day make her my wife. That is, if I have your blessing."

Michael shifted on his feet as he eyed me. Slowly, a smile began to creep up onto his face. "That is exactly what I wanted and needed to hear. Of course you have my blessing."

I felt a hand clasp on my shoulder, shaking me lightly. "Edward, I really think you should go home and wait. I promise to bring her back to you by tomorrow. I won't keep her from you any longer." He squeezed softly.

I promised myself that I wouldn't leave this spot. I felt rooted here, since it was the last place that we were together. I hated the idea of leaving.

"It's okay, I promise, no, I swear I will bring her back to you. Go home, Edward, it is where you belong right now. Your family misses you."

I nodded, slowing turning around. "There is just one thing that is bothering me, Michael. Why did you have to take her? Carlisle could have cured her, right?"

"No, Edward. She is pure, and can only be healed by those of pure nature. Innocent, so to speak. You are a member of the undead. We needed to keep her an angel until the time came. I do hope you understand."

I nodded as I continued to walk toward the forest to go home to my waiting family.

"Oh, and Edward, one more thing." I turned around to face him, our eyes meeting. "The innocence she must lose, to lose her wings."

He winked as he spread his wings and flew off. I started in on my walk and stopped abruptly. I had to take her innocence for her wings to fall? I got it then. I had to basically take what made her pure and clean. I vowed then, that when the time came, my love would pour out of me. I would make the sweetest love to her, hopefully erasing the pain of losing one life, but gaining another.

I finally made it home, opening the door slowly. My family was waiting in the living room. I nodded my head in greeting as I made my way upstairs. I knew where I needed to be, and where I needed to be was where Bella's scent was most prevalent. Her room.

My hand found the door knob and turned it slowly. I stepped in cautiously, nostrils flaring at the scent that was so intoxicating, but was home to me. My legs found their way to Bella's bed, and I lay down slowly, my nose inhaling the sweet scent that surrounded me.

I didn't care about the thoughts of my family, or anything else for that matter. I only cared about being there, in her room, smelling her. She was my drug, and that room was my supplier.

I don't know how long I stayed there, sniffing the bedding and the air around me. I was so into just being in her room, thinking of her, smelling her, that for once I forgot time.

"They are here," Alice said, softly invading my mind.

I left her room, softly closing the door behind me. Once I made it to the steps I saw the sunshine barely making it through the window. I was greeted with Michael first, and then Gabriel. I could smell Bella, she was so close, her heart beating as fast as a butterfly's wings.

I descended the stairs. Nothing mattered in that moment, not my family nor the other angels. Just her and me.

Bella came out from behind Gabriel, her eyes down cast down to the floor, slowly moving up to greet mine. The biggest grin spread across her face as she began to walk towards me.

We met halfway, and I engulfed her in my arms, holding her as close as I could get her. Her sobs shook her small body. I wiped her tears as we both fell to our knees, still holding each other closely, like it was our only lifeline available.

I kissed her cheek softly and whispered into her ear, "I am home. I am finally home, and never have I felt so completely whole."

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I really worked hard on this chapter to get it just right! I hope you enjoyed it, this chapter is yet another fav to have written!

Please, review! I always want to know what your thinking, what your favorite parts were or even lines. Thanks again for reading.

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Thanks for taking the time to read!


	10. OUTTAKE: chapter 9 BPov

A/N: This is an outtake that was bought by Isabel at the FGB auction back in November. She has graciously been patient these last few months. I have had a hard drive fail, my grandmother had passed and I gave birth to my second son. I can't thank her enough for being as patient as she had been in waiting for me to get this piece written and posted. I hope you all are as forgiving as she is with my absence with AHB.

I want you all to know that Chapter 10 is with the beta and will be posting shortly. Chapter 11 is in the progress of being written so it won't be long at all between updates.

Thank you all for waiting and being patient. I hope you all enjoy this outtake as much as I did writing it. But please keep in mind that what happens in this outtake will in no way mess up my original outline for AHB, just think of it more as an alternate ending to chapter 9.

Thanks to Tiffany for taking the time to beta!

**BPOV**

I knew deep down that being taken from him would undeniably break him. That was the last thing that I wanted to do, but deep down it had to happen. I had to set the right series of events into motion. I wasn't at all scared; I knew this was right. I had to be strong, not just for me, for them too.

Alice stood in the same spot, not moving. The ashes from the feather I had handed her were gently blowing in the wind. Out of all of them, she knew that everything would be alright. I showed her what I could, allowed her to see what I could not tell Edward. I was sure that in her own time Alice would eventually help Edward understand that I did what I had to do. I did this for them, for him, for us.

The look on his face as Gabriel took me into his arms and started to walk away tore me apart. I hated to see him sad, hurt. But he had to understand, needed to understand that he could trust me. That I was more than capable of doing what needed to be done. If it had to bring on certain consequences then so be it. But if the consequence was the love of my existence hurting, I wasn't sure if could honestly bear at all.

My tears came, the harsh wind stinging my face as we walked further from the Cullens, the wolves, from my home. I curled into Gabriel more, laying my chin on his shoulder as my eyes continued to stay on Edward's form. My eyes would not tear themselves away from him, not until I could no longer see him.

I had to be honest with myself; I was afraid that the wait would be longer than three days. The young wolf had dug his claws into my back very harshly and very deep. Being harmed by a shape shifter, in many ways it, was much worse than being harmed by a member of the undead themselves. Shape shifters were still human in many ways and therefore could be punished by God in ways the undead could not. Both the undead and shape shifters were unpure but I had to be healed by a pure being to make it all right. Carlisle was undead, therefore would most likely make me lose my wings, causing me to die. Gabriel's pure touch was the best option to heal me so that I could return to my love.

My heart ache grew the farther I was carried from him. It felt as if I were splitting in two. Part of me staying behind with Edward, preferably my heart, and the other part, which was just the shell of me going with the arch angels. I felt emptier, more alone, , ,,,,, as if I was leaving behind my other half.

Gabriel pulled me in tighter to his chest, his wings blowing in the wind as he spread them out. I closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him tighter. My ears stayed on the sound of the fluttering wings. I wasn't at all scared of where they were taking me. I trusted them, loved them even.

"Gabriel, do you think Edward will be alright?" I whispered into his neck, keeping my eyes closed as we continued to fly to our destination.

I heard Michael in the distance. His wings fluttered much faster than Gabriel's. Michael let out a sigh. If I guessed right, he was most likely shaking his head in annoyance. I certainly hoped that wasn't the case. I knew that my choice to leave was not one that he enjoyed or even wanted to happen. He would always tell me that he was not meant to ever lose a daughter. He, Gabriel, as well as a few others didn't agree with me choosing to end this life for another. One that I wasn't completely sure was going to even happen. It was only a hope and a wish after all.

But I knew that the life I was leaving behind was not one that I could honestly live forever. It wasn't who I could be or wanted to be anymore. I wanted a life on earth, full of love. I wanted nothing more than a life with Edward. Deep down, from the first moment my eyes ever laid a glance upon him, I knew he was it for me. Made for me, just for me. I knew that I could and would give him love like no one else had. With the first cry he ever made, the first sound I ever heard that came from him, our souls aligned and would never part.

The fates had other plans for our life. At one point I felt as if he was taken away from me, that was the point of his change. I remembered his hurt, his agony, the pain that followed. I honestly didn't want his heart to ever stop beating. Every time I heard it beat I was so certain that it was beating only for me, singing for just my ears to hear. As hard as it was when he did finally stop breathing, I knew that it was meant to be. That maybe somehow, some way we could live a life together through the millennia. Both immortal, both unfailingly in love with each other. I wanted no other life; no other life would ever suit me.

Gabriel's head shifted down. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. His mouth parted and he took in a slow breath. "Sweet Bella, he will be fine, I am sure of it. Have some faith, little one. I see the love he has for you, the love you have for him. You two will make it through this. Don't be scared. Now, please, rest."

I closed my eyes once more, inhaling deeply, trying desperately to remember the smells of the meadow and of my Edward. He smelled like the deepest forest and the sweetest honey. I would say he was pure heaven to me, he was my own personal heaven.

Sometime between the time that Gabriel had spoken and me retreating increasingly more into my own thoughts, I had failed to realize that we had landed. It wasn't home, it didn't feel comfortable and to be honest, I really didn't want to be there. Anywhere but there

"Bella, I wouldn't have brought you here if I had any other choice. But unfortunately this will have to do. Plus, my dear, I am sure you don't want to be that far from your love, am I right?"

I looked over at Michael and nodded my head yes. I trusted him; he was as close as a father could be to me. He always watched over me, was always there, always helped. I couldn't ask for a better angel to be by my side.

My eyes wandered across where we were standing. It wasn't heaven, definitely not heaven. There were tall trees and dry trails that led to a cave. The cave looked deep, dark. Perfect hiding place really. I spun my body around, taking in my surroundings. It looked like we were deep in the forest; no one would be able to encroach on our space.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deep. Three days couldn't come fast enough.

Michael's hand was firmly placed on my shoulder as he softly ushered me forward toward the cave. The wind picked up, blowing more heavily than it had in the meadow. I felt the first droplet of rain begin to fall down.

"We better get in the cave, Bella. I want to get everyone warm, and you healed," Gabriel said as he ducked his head to enter the cave.

Michael and I slowly followed Gabriel in. It was dark and a bit wet, but I couldn't really complain. It was shelter, and it would have to do.

I watched as they set their swords down and their wings slowly go back into hiding. They began to whisper to each other. I heard them, just didn't care too much for what was being said. I just wanted the one person, well, vampire I couldn't have. Even with the two angels I still felt unbelievably alone. More than I had before. These three days would break me, but I hoped that during the days that would come to pass that I would be made stronger, and maybe, just maybe made for the life I was truly meant to live.

I don't remember lying down on a carved out log, or even feeling more tears fall. I do remember Gabriel throwing firewood down on the ground. I listened as he piled the logs, then the sound of the match being lit and thrown onto the paper and wood. I rolled over slowly, my eyes becoming immersed in the slowly growing flames. The cave became warmer, full of light. I felt a little bit less scared if that was at all possible.

Michael slowly made his way over to me and sat down. His eyes trained on the dirt, then onto the fire. "Gabriel is getting the healing cloths ready, as well as the other medicinal things that we will need. I have a feeling I should probably tell you this will not be easy or at all painless."

I nodded and sucked in a breath, afraid to exhale. I was sure if I exhaled, then it would show that I was ready for the pain. I wasn't ready at all. Finally, I exhaled and closed my eyes.

Michael noticed. I felt his eyes on me the moment that I exhaled. "This will be the longest you will be without him, wont it?" I nodded slowly as I wiped away my traitor tears. "I am sorry, truly I am. I do hope that in time you will understand why I did what I had to do. Not just for you, for him, for the Cullens, even for heaven itself."

I didn't understand. What did heaven and the Cullens have to do with me being apart from Edward? Something deep down told me that whatever Michael was hiding, I might not like the truth of it.

"Come over by the fire, Bella. I have everything prepared." Gabriel waved me over, ushering me to sit next to him. He had a blanket laid across the floor, near the fire. Cloths were hanging above us; a basin of some kind of liquid that smelled bitter was on the ground next to Gabriel. I noticed Gabriel's hands were clothed as well and submerged in the bitter liquid. I looked up to Gabriel; he flashed me a little smile. I didn't think I had the courage to let him cure me. I was scared.

"What all will you do to me?" I said in meek voice, barely loud enough for anyone to really hear.

"I am going to simply cleanse the wound, cleanse you as well as your soul. I can't promise this won't hurt, because it will, horribly so. You can trust me. With that said, please turn around and lay down," Gabriel said as he laid extra cloths into the liquid.

Michael stood up slowly, walking over to us with a blanket of some sort in his hand. "Bella, please take this, you will need it." I grabbed the blanket and clutched it close to me. "You are going to need that to cover yourself. Your shirt is soaked in dried blood." The wound was that bad? I didn't even feel any real sense of pain; the only pain I felt was in my heart.

I turned away from Gabriel and slowly began to lie down onto my stomach, my bare back visible to him. His hands slowly came down on my shoulders; they felt warm, safe. I closed my eyes as I prepared myself for the pain that was yet to come. My wings wanted to shoot out and protect me. I had to will them to stay hidden.

I thought of Edward as Gabriel cut my shirt off. I heard my sobs echo throughout the cave. It stung even more once the cold air hit it. I tried my hardest to not cry. The tears came anyway. I forced myself to think of his kisses and the way he held my hand. All those years that I longed to just hear my name escape his lips couldn't compare to his voice as he spoke my name. Another sob escaped me as I felt the cold liquid dripping down my back and seep into the wounds. I felt like I was on fire, the deeper the liquid went, the more it burned. My knees came up to my chest. I pulled on the sheet to somehow help direct my pain elsewhere. It was useless the moment Gabriel put his hands onto the wounds.

"I am so sorry, Bella, but I must do this. Please, forgive me."

I thought my sobs were bad, but my screams were far worse. He dug the cloths into my wounds, dragging them down as he pushed the liquid deeper into the flesh. My body was shaking from the intense pain that I was beginning experience. I had never felt agony like this before and it brought my memories back to the time that Edward was changed. I felt his fingers go in deeper, the pain growing even more intense. I choked out another sob.

"I think we got most of the impurities out, now for the next three days I have to let it soak and encourage it to heal. I will have to do what I just did one more time, most likely tomorrow."

Numbness was all I felt. I should have been thankful that the numbness took over. I wasn't sure how much more I could actually take. If I wasn't at all a true immortal, anyone else, I'm sure would have passed out from the pain.

The wind picked up outside. It began to howl at the entrance of the cave. I shivered as I felt the cloths with the liquid being draped over the wounds on my back. I felt a heavier, much warmer blanket being wrapped around me. I felt somewhat better.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I listened in on the rain falling outside. I found myself wondering what Edward was doing, how he was feeling, if he was okay. If even after such a short amount of time was missing me just as much as I was missing him. I only wanted him. I felt like, in a way the further apart I was from him the more my chest hurt. Like with each beat of my heart, it grew heavier as if it were being denied beats due to my absence from him. I felt like it was as if we were bound, never meant to truly ever be apart, always changed together, just truly meant to be.

I looked out through the mouth of the cave; the rain was coming down harder than before. The only change in scenery was that night had already fallen. Again, my mind was on Edward. Ever since I had revealed myself, I hadn't been apart from him. How was he coping? Did he need me as much as I would always need him?

I must have eventually drifted off to sleep at some point due to the immense pain I was feeling. This would be the first time since I was created that my eyes ever drifted closed. You would think I would have felt rejuvenated, but no, all I felt was pain and weakness.

Gabriel and Michael were both sitting on the open faced log I had found last night. They were facing out towards the mouth of the cave, silently talking amongst themselves.

"She is finally awake. Poor thing, to have to feel such pain. At least she can wake to a beautiful sunrise."

"I am sure she will appreciate that, ,,, Gabriel. I think you should soak her wounds again and check on her progress."

My eyes wandered over to Gabriel. I watched as he slowly stood up and began walking over to me. I sat up facing away from him, leaving my back exposed.

"Do you think this treatment is working?" I said as I brought the blanket up and around me tighter.

Gabriel sighed as he sat down. I felt the old cloths being pulled away as a slight breeze danced across my exposed skin. I listened as he moved the new cloths around in the liquid.

"Your wounds, little one, are looking much better as each second passes. The wolf must have been a young one." I nodded my head as I laid my head down on my knees.

He continued to clean the wounds, the pain becoming less and less. I suspected that was due to me basically becoming numb to the medicine. Especially since he rubbed the liquid and cloths in so deeply yesterday. I guess I should have been thankful the pain was slowly ebbing away.

My eyes wandered across the cave walls as the stinging of the solution subsided. I let out a long, slow sigh and turned my head over to Gabriel. He was sitting there, so peacefully and quietly. I would have thought he was sleeping if he could have. It was then that I noticed that Michael was nowhere inside cave.

"Gabriel?" he turned his head slowly and looked into the fire. "Where is Michael?"

I watched him close his eyes as he sighed. "He went to talk to Edward and then the Cullens. I trust he will be back soon," he said, smiling.

"Do you think everything I have done up until now has been worth it? Do you think I am fool for loving someone that God never intended to have in existence? But most of all Gabriel, do you think he loves me just as much as I love him? Does he think I am worth it?" I closed my eyes, afraid of his answers. Hoping that what he said would be just what my heart needed and wanted to hear.

"Bella, I think deep down you know how that man feels about you. You would be a fool to not see it in his eyes, or feel it in his touch. Love isn't about how long it takes to find it. You just have to embrace it once it is found. With that said, I believe deep down you are worthy of each other. I can understand your fears and doubts, but I honestly think they are unfounded. That you know that everything you have sacrificed thus far has been worth it. Even what you will sacrifice in the future will be worth it. Your heart knows that you have secured your destiny. Don't question it, little one."

I plastered a weak smile across my face as I stared off into the distance. It was then that I realized just how used to Edward's company I was. Just how much I missed him and needed him. All I wanted in that moment was to hear his voice and to wrap my arms around him. That would be my own personal heaven.

As the skies grew darker and Michael still hadn't returned, I grew more impatient and worried. I couldn't help but have a million scenarios running through my head. Had something happened? Is Edward okay? Are the wolves causing my family more problems? Yes, my family. It felt so perfect, so real to say that.

I was knocked out of my musings when I heard Gabriel shift and more solution being sloshed about.

"Little one, please turn around. Just one more cleansing and you should be better. Just light scars will remain until it fully heals in time. Are you ready?

I nodded my head slowly and sucked in a breath. This time was different than all the rest of the cloth changings. No pain, no stinging. And most importantly absolutely no blood. Gabriel said that I was slowly beginning to scab over.

After the cloths were placed, Michael walked into the cave carrying a bag. He set it down next to me. "Courtesy of Alice." He and Gabriel then walked out of the cave to give me privacy. I opened the bag to find all the necessities I could need. Fresh clothes as well. Somehow, I liked knowing that she would always know what I needed and when I would need it. Instead of me looking over others, I had her looking over me. It made me feel closer to her somehow.

I got changed and sat back down as Gabriel and Michael came back into the cave. Michael was the first to speak. "I wanted to let you know, Bella, that I talked to Edward and the Cullens. They are expecting you back tomorrow at the house. I promised him you would be there."

I smiled and nodded. "Good, I miss him. I miss them all."

Michael sighed as he sat down. "Bella, are you sure this is what you want. Are you sure that you want to give up the only life you have known for him? Is he really worth your true existence?"

Silence had never sounded lonelier than in that moment. There may have been three of us in that cave, but it felt nothing but lonely and dark to me.

I looked Michael straight on, my gaze never wavering from his. "I have never been surer of something in my life, ever. I have been by his side since he was brought into this world.I never intended to leave. Yes, I realize that his life could have ended in 1918; I also realize that I could pine for a love that could never love me back. But in my heart I have always known I was meant to be his and only his. I knew that whatever was to come of us it was meant to be." I sighed and closed my eyes. "To give up my wings, to give up heaven I realize is the ultimate sacrifice in your eyes. But I want it. I need to be by his side for eternity. I belong nowhere else. So yes, I am sure that this is what I want, and I can assure you he is more than worth my existence. If it came down to it, I would die for him, which essentially is what I will be doing. Sorry, if what I want and need isn't what you think I should do."

"I just hope that you know what you are doing, ,, Bella. There is no going back now."

"Yes, I realize that, ,,Michael. I have known that for well over a hundred years. Thank you again for all that you have done. I don't think I will ever adequately be able to repay you." I kissed his forehead softly and made my way out of the opening of the cave.

I wasn't sure where I was going, much less what I would do. I just knew that I had to keep walking. That eventually I would get to my destination.

The more I walked the less my chest began to ache. I was frantic to find him. I felt like I had been without him for way too long. My eyes kept searching over every open area in the woods, every piece of grass clearing. But when I came to patches of wild flowers, that was when I knew, that was when I saw him. The moonlight was dancing across his face. He looked so lost, so vulnerable. I stood there watching him run his fingers across the grass and wildflowers as the wind softly blew across the meadow. I knew it was only a matter of time before he smelled my presence or heard my heartbeat.

It was now or never.

**EPOV**

Michael had ju ha st left me and yet I still felt as lonely as I did before he came. It didn't matter who came to see me. I was still missing the one person that I needed the most. I ached all over; my body hummed and yearned to find its match, its missing piece.

I turned my head up to the sky and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply as the wind picked up. I could have sworn I smelled fresh freesias and sweet strawberries wafting through the air. As I inhaled more deeply, letting the scent seep deeper into my lugs, I concentrated on the smell and I instantly felt lighter, calmer. I felt how I always felt when Bella was near me. Could it be? I was afraid to turn my head, afraid of being disappointed, that maybe after all what I smelled was simply a figment of my imagination.

And then that is when I heard it, the sweetest sound to ever grace my ears.

"It has always been you. you were always my heaven. My reason to love. It has always been you, only you."

I stayed rooted where I was, my eyes closed. Wanting to savor every breath I heard her take, every sound she made, and every footstep that she took toward me.

"My heart has been missing its other half these last few days. My soul has never felt so lonely."

I listened as her feet padded and brushed along the long grass of the meadow. I breathed in deeper as she came closer, her scent crashing into me as strong as the first night I laid eyes on her.

"I have never felt more in love with you than I am feeling right now."

I let out an audible gasp as I forced my eyes to blink several times. She was here, she was really here. I wanted so badly to reach out to her and grab her, pulling her closer to me. She was walking entirely to slowly for my liking.

"I stood beside you for well over a hundred years, ,,Edward. I can only hope now I can stand beside you for eternity."

If I had a heart it would be beating a million beats a minute. She was declaring herself to me, her love for me. I had never wanted time to stop so badly. I wanted to freeze this moment like a Polaroid, never leaving this moment, just staying here, rooted in this spot.

This is heaven, it has to be.

Her small frame, short body stretched up onto her tippy-toes as molded her lips softly to mine. I felt a shock, a spark; like that kiss was some sort of cataclysmic event that was destined before time to happen. It was perfect, it was ours, and it was mine alone. My first kiss now sharply ingrained into my memory, to never be forgotten.

I look down at her as she slowly exhaled, "I was made to love you, only you."

The biggest smile stretched across my face as I looked down at her, my eyes searching her deep dark pools. I knew then that she could see that I understood that we were on equal footing, that we loved each other with the same amount of love as the other. There was absolutely no turning back now, only forward. My future was now forever tied to hers.

My head rested upon the top of hers as I inhaled as deeply as I could, enjoying her scent burn its way into me. I whispered softly to her, "God, Bella, I never knew, I never knew I was capable of a love this strong. That I was able to be loved back."

Her small but entirely too inviting lips ghosted up my neck, softly kissing a path up to my ear. I felt her breath on my skin as she took my hand, pulling me back down the grass with her. I grabbed her hand and intertwined our fingers. It felt so natural to do so.

"You can never let go, I don't ever want to lose you. My hand stays in your hand for always." I nodded, agreeing with her as I pulled her closer to me, kissing her sweet cheek softly. "I don't go anywhere where you don't go. I am forever tied to your side. No one can make me leave, love," I whispered softly, hoping she heard me.

She moved her body around so that she was facing me. she bravely made her way into my lap as she kissed me full on the lips once more, causing a tiny feather to fall in the process. This kiss was deeper, more electric than before. I shivered as she sucked my bottom lip into her mouth; she lightly nibbled on it, causing another shiver to run through me. My arms had a mind of their own; I pulled her tighter, closer to me than was before. So close, that you probably couldn't slide a piece of paper between us.

Her warm lips kissed the other side of my neck, up to my ear where she nibbled as softly as she could, eliciting a soft purr to course through me.

"Edward, I could sit here and tell you that I have lived a thousand lifetimes, counted off a million days, but standing here and looking into your eyes now I can honestly say my existence has only begun. I was never living, truly living until you crossed my path. Now, if that doesn't tell you that you have all my heart, all of me, then I don't know what else could possibly convince you."

A sharp sob ripped through my chest as I hugged her to me. "Trust me I know, I know now. I can never turn my back on that. Such a precious gift you have given me, love."

"All I want you to do, Edward, ,is just be. Just let me love you the way I am meant to love you," she said as she pushed me down onto the ground, making me lay down. My eyes wandered up to hers, following her eyes as she began to look up into the night sky. She seemed to be looking at every precious star, looking for something that she thought might be hidden in them.

I squeezed her hips softly, hoping in doing so I was giving her the courage to move on. Letting her know that whatever happened, I wanted it just as much as she did, if not more. My eyes grew wider as I noticed her taking off her shirt; she was wearing nothing underneath, nothing but creamy, pale skin that was just begging to be kissed and savored. Her breast begging to be held in my hands as my thumbs slowly grazed her nipples.

She rid me of my shirt, and then her pants, throwing them off to the side of us.

"Bella-" I said as she placed her fingers roughly onto my lips, effectively shutting me up.

Bella's small, but nimble fingers began to unbutton my pants; she pulled down my boxers as well. I listened to her exhale as she took in the site of my body, but nothing compared to her. The creaminess of her skin, the pink at the juncture of her legs- I couldn't pick just one thing, my angel was nothing short of pure perfection.

I could feel the electricity hum between us, almost as if it was growing stronger, more solid with each kiss her warm lips placed upon my chest. The higher up her lips got, the more I had the urge to growl and turn her over, completely ravishing her. But this was for her, for us. We could take our time.

As she straddled me, her bottom lightly brushed across my very prominent erection. I let out a hiss as my eyes rolled back. Ungh, to just feel her, her wetness and warmth.

She kissed me again, our lips moving with each other's, searing our feelings with each pass of a tongue. She kissed me once more before she whispered, "I love you, for always." I initiated the kiss this time, making it deeper than the one before. "I love you too, for eternity."

I let out a moan as she pushed her self down onto my cock, effectively breaking her barrier. I listened to her sharp intake of breath. I wanted so badly to push in further, to keep moving, but instead I savored the moment. She pushed down more forcefully now that she had become accustomed to my size. I moaned deeply as her warmth surrounded me, her wetness begging me to just let go. Never had I felt something so wonderful, so right.

I met her with every thrust, pushing myself deeper every time she came down onto me. Our lips melted into one another's as we chanted, "I love you's." As we brought each other that much closer to our release. Our moans floated throughout the meadow as our skin slapped against each other's.

Our pace is quickened, breaths becoming shorter, the moans began to sound deeper than the one before.

The wind blew harder now, I could barely hear her whimper as I looked up and noticed feathers blowing around as the wind picked them up.

"Your wings..." I gasped.

"I don't regret it, Edward. It was meant to be. I'm meant for you, this is what I want" She was so confident, it only turned me on more.

We had become more frenzied in our pace, I began to thrust harder and deeper into her as she moaned into my chest. I held on even tighter.

I felt her let go, her walls clenched around me as the warmth overtook me. I heard her whispering, "I love you," over and over again. I clenched my eyes close and finally let go, grunting as I do so.

Our breathing slowed down as we came down from our high. "I love you Bella, only you. Will always be only you," I whispered into her shoulder as I listened to her heart rate come down. I will never tire of the sound.

Bella pulls her body off me slowly and then lies down beside me.

We lie there for I don't know how long, just enjoying the love that we had made. How it was perfect, and meant to be.

Eventually the light hues of the morning sun began to dance upon our naked flesh. We lie there a bit longer, enjoying the sun rise with one another.

"So you have to leave me again?" I didn't want to part from her; I could not stand the idea of it. Especially after all that we had endured the last 3 days. No more.

"Not for long, love," she whispered as a smile ghost its way onto her flushed face.

"Your wings? Do you regret it?"

"Nope, and just because you saw a few feathers fluttering in the wind doesn't mean I've lost my wings just yet."

She kisses me softly, pulling me up with her. We kiss a bit more, not wanting to part.

We get dressed in silence, stealing glances at one another every so often.

Once fully dressed I clasped her hand in mine, squeezing it softly. "Maybe we don't have to part? You could just wait and meet up with Gabriel and Michael at the house and come in with them? I don't want to be apart without you. I don't even care if it just a matter of minutes. I just can't do it!"

She nodded and smiled, agreeing with what I said.

As we made our way back to the house, her wings fully shot out, surprising me in the process. See, still there. I am still bound to my duty. But I am closer to being human than I was before. It's only my duty that is holding me back at this point."

When we made it up to the house I pulled her to me as she reaches up to kiss me softly. "I love you Edward Cullen, don't ever forget that!" I would never be able to my love.

Eventually time passed and I was finally able to have my love back.

The moment that she walked through those doors, time stood still. I didn't see anyone but her. That was all that mattered.

"I am home. I am finally home, and never have I felt so completely whole."

End notes: The tenth of august is my birthday, I will get great joy if you all enjoy this as much as did and shared your thoughts! Thanks again for taking the time to read, and for Isabel for buying!


	11. Chapter 10Our Sanctuary

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews I received for the outtake! I appreciate that you all are still interested and reading. Hopefully you will like this chapter, it is a bit fluffy.

Thanks to Tiffanyanne3 as well as Sirenastarot for betaing! I really do appreciate it!

Disclaimer: I sadly, do not own the tiniest bit of twilight. I do own the plot.

I will have a bit of a longer A/N at the bottom! Enjoy!

~AHB~

The minute my arms wrapped themselves around her I honestly did feel whole. I felt as if something inside me moved and clicked into its respective place. It was as if everything that was broken over these last few days had finally been corrected, and it made everything right in me, made every single particle in my being finally feel like it had a purpose to feel whole, to not hurt at all anymore.

My eyes closed as I tightened my hold on her. I breathed in as deeply as I could, making sure to memorize every scent, whether it be the ash I smelled, or the dirt that she had possibly lain in where ever she went while she was away from me. But the longer I breathed in, the stronger the freesia and strawberry smell became clearer and burned its way into my lungs. This smell was my drug, my anchor to all that was right in this world. I took one more lingering breath and held it in as I slowly opened my eyes, and what I found looking back at me was the prettiest pair of eyes- the chocolate brown pools that belonged to my angel. What I saw in them was longing, love and the feeling of being complete. I only hoped mine mirrored what hers were so obviously saying.

"Heaven, this is heaven." I sighed into her neck, wanting so desperately to place a soft, chaste kiss onto her pulse point. I gave into that feeling and just went for it. I pressed my lips softly to her neck, feeling her strong, vibrant pulse beat beneath the surface. I listened to Bella breathe in slowly, softly. I let myself enjoy the feeling of her fingers running up the back of my neck and into my hair.

No feather fell that time.

Something deep inside me just wanted to keep her to myself. I knew my family probably wanted time with her as well, but I needed to feel her, hold her, and make sure that she's really here and okay. I needed us to just be with no outside interruptions. So I slowly stood up, clasped her hand within mine and led her up the stairs. I didn't say anything; I was sure she knew where we were going and what I needed. She always seemed to know what I wanted and how to make things better.

As I opened the door to her room and let her walk in, I listened in on the conversation that was flowing downstairs between my family and Gabriel as well as Michael. Carlisle was asking about Bella's recovery and what he might need to do, if anything. The rest were just making small conversation. I decided to tune them out. I only wanted Bella.

I closed the door behind me and continued to make my way into her room. She was standing in front of her book shelf, slowly running her fingertips along the spines of the books. She looked peaceful, content. I noticed a small smile ghost across her face and her eyes light up mischievously as she grabbed a book from the shelf.

She turned her back to me as she opened the book and inhaled deeply. "It still smells as brand new as the first time I ever opened this book. You were four years old when it was published. I remember reading it to you as you slept at night. Eventually you read this book yourself and wanted nothing more than to be the main character and fly off to Neverland to meet Wendy and the lost boys. I remember laughing, watching you run around your room, pretending to fly and talk to Tinkerbell. You were such a carefree and loving boy. Now, you are such a man, so uptight and full of worry when you needn't be."

I watched as she placed the book back into the slot she took it from as I sat down on the bed. I tried so hard to remember my carefree days of when I was a child. It all came up fuzzy, distorted. There were moments I could remember my mother's hair, or running into my father's lap. But some memories were just gone, long forgotten and erased by the change. I often wished I could remember everything, cherish every moment I had before the fire made me into what I was today. But there was something about hearing about a human me from Bella. It felt more genuine. Like everything she was telling me was coming from her heart, her memories, things she probably would have long forgotten had she not cared. I am so thankful she cared enough to remember. I could probably never repay her.

I looked up at her as she continued to scan her bookcase. "I have often wondered these last few months what it is about me that maybe you miss the most?" I didn't know what made me ask it. I just felt it was something that I needed to know.

Bella turned around, slowly facing me as she walked toward the bed and sat down. She let out a slow sigh before she answered, "I don't honestly think I can pick out just one thing, but let me say this first- I miss everything about you, but that still doesn't change the fact that I love everything about you now. You may have given up a few things to be here today, but I still love it all. Now, to answer your question, it's your eyes; I always miss your eyes. The greenness of them. Their deepness. Every time I looked into your green pools they always dragged me in. I felt that I could see into your very soul, that your eyes could tell me anything and everything I wanted or needed to know. Even now, I feel that I can read your gold eyes. Like right now I can see love and adoration float through them. Even when you held the red eyes of a newborn, they were never empty, and I would still find myself staring in them for hours.

My body moved closer to hers, and soon our legs were touching each other's. I pulled her onto my lap and gently moved her hair away from her face and softly kissed her cheek, breathing her in. "I've missed you. I hated every moment I couldn't feel you." I laid my head on her shoulder as I brought her arms up around my neck. "You amaze me, how you can love me, want to be here with me and yet give up so much to do so. You amaze me and break my heart at the same time with the words that come out of your mouth. My heart breaks because I want so badly to remember what you are relaying to me. It hurts, but makes me happy at the same time. You just simply amaze me." I was finding it hard to adequately say what I wanted to say to her, and only hoped that I was coming across how I wanted it to, hoping she understood exactly what I meant.

I listened to her breathe in and out slowly, her sweet breath lulled me into a haze, away from my thoughts, making me center on the feel of her in my arms in that moment. I held her closer, wrapping my arms around her tighter. "I never want to let you go, Bella. To be honest I feel as if we are meant to fit together. You in my arms feel simply like pure perfection. I never knew just holding you like this, could be like this, if that makes any sense to you." She smiled as she tightened her arms around me next and in that moment I never wanted to leave, I would gladly have stayed there forever if she had let me.

Her neck was calling to me, taunting me with each pulse of her heart beat. I softly kissed the juncture where her neck meets her collarbone. I decided to take a chance and slowly slip my tongue between my lips and steal a taste of her soft, sweet skin. I listened as she sharply breathed in as her heart sped up. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy her reaction to me. I never thought I would ever elicit such a reaction from a female, much less such an innocent being.

"It felt so strange to be away from you, to not smell you, hold you, and feel your fingers brush across my hand. I don't ever want to go without that again. It felt wrong; it made me feel out of place. I don't like feeling that way," she said as she lovingly ran her fingers through my hair. I purred softly with each stroke that passed my scalp. Simply divine.

"I know the feeling, love. I felt like a whole piece of me was missing. I didn't want to move away from the meadow. I was afraid I would miss you if you came back. It hurt to see you being taken from me. I wanted to be the one to take care of you, to make sure that you were alright. But I am glad you are with me now. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world." I smiled and nuzzled my head closer into her neck, breathing in her scent, anchoring myself home.

_Edward, we are leaving, letting you two catch up and what not. We are all going hunting. Don't expect us back until maybe night fall, when Carlisle has to return to the hospital_.

I turned my head and smiled at Bella. "Thank you Alice, we appreciate it."

"So, what would my love like to do today?"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Hmm, I don't care what we do, as long as we just stay here. I just really want to be with you. We could stare at each other and I would still be happy." She laughed softly as she shook her head. "I really wouldn't mind a hot bath."

I picked her up and sat her down beside me. "Then a bath you shall have." I walked toward the bath as I hear her giggle. With the tap turned on I added in the bubbles. I used the berry scented bubble bath that I knew she loved. I took some time setting out some candles and opened the curtain next to the tub. I wanted her relaxed. I set out towels and a washcloth for her as well.

When I returned to the room, I noticed that she was lying on the bed, spread out and staring up at the ceiling. "What is on your mind, love?" She turned her head and her face lit up in a smile. "You," she whispered softly, so softly I am sure I was lucky I even heard it. Her telltale blush made an appearance once again. I moved over to her and softly kissed both of her cheeks. "Your bath is ready." I said as I kissed her forehead and helped her up off the bed. "I'll be right out here if you need anything."

As I listened to the click of the bathroom door and her clothes falling to the floor, I found myself struggling with the urge to go to her. My ears picked up the sound of her slowly sliding into the water, and I tried everything in that moment to keep me anchored to the bed, to not move, to not bother her. I won't lie; I would have given anything to be able to wash her body, to worship her. All those feelings that were rising up in me were so foreign, but felt so amazingly right. After our separation of the last three days, I doubted I would fight much of anything anymore when it came to her. There was simply no point. I belonged with her, to her.

I couldn't help but get up and walk to the bathroom door. I needed to feel closer to her. "How is the bath? Warm enough?"

She splashed around and I listened as she brought a washcloth up along her skin. "Yes, it is a lovely bath. I am not so sure if you will ever get me to get out of it."

I laughed softly and shook my head at her adorableness. "The water is bound to go cold at some point, love."

My body slid down the door on its own volition, and I just sat there, staring off into space while my love enjoyed her bath.

Eventually she finished her bath and came back out to me, smelling of berries and nothing but pure Bella. I walked over to her, kissed her cheek softly as I held her to me. My hands ran up and down her back; I could feel the slight rise of skin from the scars. I brushed my fingers along the back of her neck, and she shivered as she molded herself closer to me. The warmth of the bath set off my cold skin. I closed my eyes, focusing on her heartbeat. It centered me, calmed me. It was my own personal soundtrack to this life. You never realize how much you can miss something as simple as a heartbeat until you have had three days without its music flowing through your ears. I vowed to remember it always, even when it ceased to beat. I knew that some day that will happen, so I would cherish it for now.

"Thank you again for the bath. I really enjoyed it."

"Welcome. How is your back? Is it fully healed?"

"My back is a lot better and fully healed, still a little tender to the touch though." I winced at the fact that she had to go through pain. I hated her having to go through any type of pain.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly did they do to make your back heal?" I wanted to know everything she went through during our separation, needing to know every moment that I missed.

I watched as she slowly brought her bottom lip in and bit it softly. She darted her tongue out to lick her lips, leaving me momentarily distracted and making me yearn to kiss her. And so I did, I molded my lips to hers, feeling the warmth that emanates from them. I slowly sucked in her bottom lip; teasingly ran my tongue along her bottom lip. I didn't realize that it might be too much until I noticed a feather had fallen. "Sorry," I said as I pulled away from her. She giggled as she licked her lips and blushed. I had a feeling she enjoyed that kiss.

Bella sighed and closed her eyes as she ran her fingers across her lips. Yep, she enjoyed it. I smiled to myself.

"To answer your question, they had to make a kind of potion I guess you could say to cleanse the wounds. Gabriel had special cloths to wipe it clean. Because of the impurities of the shape shifters, Gabriel had to scrape some of the dried blood among other things out of the wound." She shrugged her shoulders as if it didn't bother her, but it bothered me. I still felt that it was unnecessary pain that she had to go through.

I walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a book of a collection of poems as I made my way toward my bed. I laid down with my back up against the head board and my arms open wide, waiting for her to join me. She climbed up on to the bed and slowly let herself fall into my arms, sighing contentedly as I pulled her closer to me.

"Can I read to you?" I asked as I kissed the top of her head softly. She nodded as I select the page that I want.

I chose to read a collection of works by Maya Angelou.

**Passing Time**

Your skin like dawn

Mine like musk

One paints the beginning

Of a certain end.

The other, the end of a

sure beginning.

**Touched by an Angel**

We, unaccustomed to courage

exiles from delight

live coiled in shells of loneliness

until love leaves its high holy temple

and comes into our sight

to liberate us into life.

Love arrives

and in its train come ecstasies

old memories of pleasure

ancient histories of pain.

Yet if we are bold,

love strikes away the chains of fear

from our souls

We are weaned from our timidity

In the flush of love's light

we dare be brave

And suddenly we see

that love costs all we are

and will ever be.

Yet it is only love

which sets us free

I looked down at her after I finished the last poem; her eyes were closed as a whisper ghosts across her lips, "Perfectly said. I don't think I could every try to say it better." She grabbed the book and closed it, setting it on the table beside the bed. Her small hands removed my arms from around her, and I couldn't help but pout at the loss. What she did next surprised me. She lifted her leg over mine, so she was facing me and straddling my waist. A light blush settled across her cheeks as she leaned her head down on to my chest. "Hold me?" she whispered sweetly, softly.

We lay there, breathing each other in, holding on to one another, clinging to each other in case the other moved. Her warmth took over my cold, and I wouldn't trade her being in my arms for anything. I waited so long to have the companionship that others in my family have had for decades. It has been over a century since anyone had held me or I have held them. The moment was too perfect, and one that I didn't want to end. I would have held her forever, never letting go.

I kissed the top of her head, my lips brushed across her silky, smooth hair. "Are you comfortable, love?"

She nodded her head yes, and I smiled as I held her tighter to me. After a while, she sat up, her eyes burned into mine as her teeth bit into her bottom lip. "I used to watch you night after night, hoping and wishing that one day I would get to feel your arms around me. I used to wonder how tightly you would hold me or how close, if you would enjoy it as much as I did. Now that I am lying in your arms, I have to tell you, it is so much better than anything I dreamed up." She looked down as she shook her head. "You must think I am silly."

It was the opposite. I didn't think she was silly at all, adorable was more like it.

I ran my fingers through her hair, enjoying the silkiness of her strands that slid through my fingers. "I could never think you are silly. You are too cute for words sometimes though." My hand caressed her cheek, pulling her face up so our eyes could meet. "I think you should know that I have wished for over a century to be able to hold someone that I love, and to have them hold me back. I love feeling your warmth pressed against me. It makes me feel alive, whole even. I like the way we seem to fit perfectly in each other's arms."

She smiled a vibrant smile as her fingers traced the features of my face. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of her skin as it brushed along mine.

"Did you know that when you were little, you used to fall asleep on your left side, always facing the nearest window? Your mouth would be slightly open, your lips curled up slightly. Then sometime during the night you would lie on your stomach and you would always stick your butt up into the air as you curled your knees up under you? I used to cover you back up with your blankets after you would lie on your stomach." She burrowed her head down closer to my neck as she kissed it softly. "Sometimes your mom would sneak in, kiss your cheek and re-tuck you in. You always let out a sigh each time she did that. You were such a handsome young boy, still are." She winked at me, laughing softly. If I could have blushed, I would have.

"Do you miss not being able to watch me sleep? And no, before you say anything I don't think it to be creepy at all," I said, laughing softly.

"So, now you can read my mind, Mr. Cullen?" She arched an eyebrow, playfully teasing me. "To an extent I do miss watching you sleep, but to be honest, I am selfish and I loved how I got to see you all hours of the day or night when you were turned. Too bad you never sleep talked though. I could have had you divulge some deep dark secrets then."

"Are you enjoying teasing me? Hmm?" I said as I pushed her down on to the bed, my hands ghosting up her side as I began to tickle her ribs. Her laugh was infectious, and before I knew it, I was laughing right along with her.

"Why Edward, I think you enjoy my teasing!" She laughed louder as her eyes closed. I could feel the vibration of her laugh through her ribs and found that it brought me nothing but joy.

I pressed my lips to hers quickly as she stops laughing; it grew silent in the room. My eyes searched hers as she looked up to me. "I love you, Bella," I said, seriously. I watched as her eyes closed as she inhaled deeply.

"I love you, so much, Edward," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around my neck, holding me in place.

I stood up, pulling her up with me as I tugged her to me tightly; my fingers ran up and down her back slowly. I pressed a soft kiss to her ear and began to hum a tune, one I have had stuck inside my head for ages.

Bella burrowed her head in under my chin. "You have had that tune floating through your head for ages; don't you think it's about time to sit at the piano and play? I would love for you to bring it alive with the stroke of a few keys. I miss you playing the piano; you haven't played in so long."

Eventually, I always told myself eventually I would get to playing it, and composing on it. But to be honest it had been years since I even sat at a bench and successfully played anything worthwhile. I have had my moments of indulging Esme a time or two throughout the last few decades. But, I had yet to really play anything for myself. Maybe it's time, maybe Bella was right, and I should play.

"Well then, love, we must fix that. But first, I would much rather do this," I placed my right hand on her lower back, pulling her as close as I could, I then brought her arm up to my shoulder as I clasped our free hands together. "What do you say to joining me in a dance?" I arched an eyebrow, and she giggled, smiling happily."

"Well, I must say Mr. Cullen; I would never turn you down. So dance away."

We danced as we twirled around the room; our bodies pressed together, my breath ghosting across her ear, her heartbeat driving me to continue the dance. Eventually- and it seemed entirely too soon- I pulled away from her, bowing down to her as I would have done back in my human days. Days long forgotten but seemed to be coming back to me.

Her small pale hand slid down my chest and I captured it in mine, bringing it up to my lips, lightly kissing it. It amazed me how a simple dance could have made me feel closer to her, and yet it had. It seemed every ounce of contact that we had together seemed stronger on a more emotional and even a physical level. This surprised me even more, because my venom had hardly made a presence in my contact with Bella. I assumed it was due to our recent time apart, but I never forgot; it was still there in the forefront of my mind.

"Stop thinking so much, Edward," she said as she playfully poked at my side

"Can't help it, love. It is an unfortunate side effect of vampirism." I laughed loudly. I don't think I had ever been that carefree in a long time. It felt good, free, liberating.

"Come with me," she whispered as she grabbed my arm as she tugged me toward the door, leading me down the hall. "Sit." She pushed me down onto the piano bench as she stood behind me, her hands brushed through my hair softly, slowly. I closed my eyes and sighed. "Now play for me, please?" My fingers lightly touched the keys as the tune that had been in my head began to pour out of me. It was hauntingly beautiful and sweet. Her fingers continued to run through my hair, and I couldn't help but wonder if those notes were the exact notes that I had carried with me all those years were meant for Bella.

_Maybe it was her that I have loved all these years. Maybe I was meant to play this for her all along. My love, my life._

The song came to its close and I listened to Bella sigh as she ran her fingers through my hair one last time. I couldn't help but feel like everything was right in the world.

~AHB~

A/N: This will be the last "fluffy" chapter for a bit. I am warning you now, with the next chapter things will start to get progressively darker, more intense. I hope I still have your attention, and that you are still enjoying AHB as much as I am writing it.

Now, for a few recs!

Fade Into You is currently one of my faves! I seriously cannot get enough of it! It is by RCD-Alice. So please check it out and tell her I sent you!

I am sure most of you are reading Paper Cutouts, by Twistedcoincidence. And if you are not, you really should be.

One more before I go. Check out Welcome to Paradise by suzie55. I love this story as well!

I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter! Also, feel free to rec me anything you lovelies are reading as well!


	12. Chapter 11 Blind

A/N: I have no excuses on why it took so long to update. All that I can honestly say is RL getting in the way. I do hope you all forgive me and haven't abandoned this story. I wouldn't be mad if you did. I completely understand. I thank those of you who are still with me and sticking with this story. It really does mean a lot to me.

I won't even try to say I will update soon. But I am hoping to get over writers block and start posting more regularly now that RL has somewhat slowed down.

If any of you are interested, I will be posting some one-shots or drabbles soon on my fanfiction profile. They will hopefully help me get over this writers block with AHB and hopefully one of you, or many of you will like them and want maybe one of them continued. We shall see. I need to get these small plots out of my head so I have more space in my brain for AHB.

Again, thanks for being understanding! I hope you all know how appreciative I am for all of you that take the time to read what I post. It really does mean a lot to me!

Thanks to tiffanyanne3 for betaing!

Now, enough of this long A/N, and onto the reading! ENJOY!

I knew that it was only a matter of time before our bubble, the sanctuary that surrounded Bella and me would burst. We could try with all our might to shut out the outside world and just revel in what we shared, but eventually whatever we avoided would surely catch up. And with our luck, it would catch up in the worse way.

And it did.

I was out hunting near the northernmost boundary of the Quileute reservation. I had just taken down a large deer. While I discarded the carcass, my ears pricked up as I heard the rustling of leaves and the exhale of a short breath. I scanned the surrounding area with my eyes and mind. I saw and heard nothing.

I quickly turned around, facing east towards a thicker part of the forest. A gust of wind blew and I instantly smelled something musky, but with an underlying sweet smell. Try as I might I couldn't place just what it smelled like. It was nothing like I had ever encountered. I knew it wasn't an animal. I felt deep down that it was something that didn't belong in this forest; it belonged elsewhere.

The wind shifted again, and again I detected the faint musky sweet smell. Only this time did I detect a faint heartbeat. It was beating slowly,evenly. It wasn't at all beating as fast as a animal's would; no, this creatures heartbeat was slower, more human-like. I tilted my head, sniffing the air, hoping to pick up more of the sent before the wind shifted again.

Instead of another whiff of the being's scent I was granted a sighting. As I turned my head a flash of a hooded figure ran fast ahead of me. This creature, whatever it was, was a good five miles away from me. I decided to pursue it. It evaded me, jumping over the river three times in different places. Eventually, I gave up as the creature jumped onto Quileute land. The creature then turned around, facing me. The hood covered the face from sight, but I felt the being's eyes bore into me.

I heard nothing for several minutes as we stared at each other. Not a single heartbeat, breath- nothing. Abruptly the creature turned around, a sword of some kind laying across its back. I could see that it had faint lettering down the blade. All I knew was that it wasn't English.

The creature took a few steps forward as its heartbeat penetrated my ears again. I listened to the exhale and inhale of its breathe.

_You'll never be able to save her. She was damned from the start. Just as you are. Just as you always will be._

I closed my eyes, taking in unnecessary breaths. Why is she damned? Why can't I save her? What is that creature?

Once I opened my eyes, the creature was gone and I darted home as quickly as I could. I was met at the door by Alice and Bella. Both looked worried, scared even. I grabbed Bella close to me and just held her, breathing in her scent with every chance I got.

I felt Alice tug on my shirt sleeve, in her mind silently pleading me to come inside and talk. I reluctantly nodded and followed her in as I gripped Bella tighter to me.

"I know something happened, Edward. I just don't know exactly what. I saw you take down your meal, and then all I saw was you standing alone with you spinning around, your eyes darting every which way as if you were searching for something. All I saw after that was a black hooded creature that I have never seen before. And no, before you ask, its not the Volturi. That I am one hundred percent sure of," Alice said as she sat down near Bella.

My eyes wandered around the room, stopping on each member of my family. All I wanted to do was hug each and every one of them until I felt safe, until I knew we were safe. Whatever this creature was, I wouldn't let it hurt anyone.

As I told my family just what I had encountered in the forest, I made sure to pay attention to Bella's reaction. Her eyes grew wide and her breath came in short gasps.

I had a feeling that Bella had an inkling as to what this creature was.

She turned her head and lightly kissed my check. "You do know that I love you, right? That I would do anything for you? No matter what cost?"

I nodded as I squeezed her hand in reassurance. I couldn't help but wonder why she was being so cryptic.

I had a bad feeling about what we could possibly be facing.

She snuggled up to me, her arms around my waist holding me tightly. I noticed that the rest of the family were still standing around, silent, as they looked on at Bella and me. Something just told me that everything that we had all built was sure to come crashing down in the coming days. Whatever reason that had brought Bella into my life was now going to reveal itself.

I had to be strong. I tried to be strong. My confidence was shattered the moment that there was a knock at our door.

I knew from my mind that it was Gabriel and Michael. Michael was the first to step into the foyer. His eyes landed on Bella as he exhaled slowly. Gabriel came up behind him; his eyes gave nothing away. It was then I knew that anything that they had to say was probably nothing good.

"Bella," Michael said as he tipped his head indicating for Bella to follow him.

As she stood up, she squeezed my hand. She kissed my lips softly as she closed her eyes, breathing me in.

Gabriel stayed out with us. His eyes stayed glued to mine.

Do not worry, Edward. Bella is strong. She lives and breathes for you. You are her world.

I looked at Gabriel and nodded. I really had nothing to say. I had so many questions and certainly not enough answers. The odds were always stacked against us. We were constantly fighting against a strong tide that only pushed us deeper into the ocean. We were sure to drown, and I was sure to lose.

I heard Jasper chastise me in my head. "Stop it, Edward! We are fighting, we never give up, so don't you give up. Not now, not ever!"

I wished I could say that lifted my spirits, but it didn't.

I didn't feel any sense of normalcy until Bella came back into the house with Michael. She had a bright smile on her face as she saw me. I walked to her, opening my arms, just needing to feel her. I needed something to ground me, make me feel like I was in this moment after all.

"I'm sure you all want to know just what is going on, and to be honest, I wish I could tell you. But I do have a feeling as to the origins of the creature. Although, I cannot be sure until I see and smell it for myself. Edward, what you smelled, the musky yet sweet smell, that tells me that its a creature that was touched by evil himself but was once a creature held by heaven's gates who obviously was banished from the kingdom. I don't know who, what, or even the species yet. I really do wish I had more for you and your family."

Something told me deep down that Michael knew more than he was letting on, that Bella even knew more and was not telling me.

I was walking blindly, and I had no choice but to trust those around me. But could I trust myself to make the best decisions when the time came? Would I falter or stay the course? I guess only time would tell, and that time was coming up soon. I could feel it. The universe was off, tilted, not right.

Michael and Gabriel left after Michael spoke. No one said anything. What could we say? We could have asked a million questions and still have nothing that would satisfy us. I wanted to know more about what he had meant when he said it was a creature touched by evil, but was once held in heaven. As much as I wanted to know, I was still afraid of the answer. A vampire, afraid...who would have thought?

I heard Bella sigh next to me. It was then that I noticed that we had been deserted. We were the only ones now in the front room. It felt eerily calm.

"Stop thinking so much, Edward. I can see your brain working from here. Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be. Trust us, trust me, most of all trust youself," she whispered as she peppered light kisses along my neck. As her soft lips came up to my ear she whispered again, "I love you, always."

"As I love you, sweet girl."

I held her until I heard the clock chime loudly once. I glanced over at the clock that stood next to the the lamp by the sofa. It had just gone one in the morning.

I heard a phone ring upstairs and Carlisle's voice penetrate the stillness that now had surrounded us.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Ready the crash cart in case the patient codes. I am leaving right now!"

She's so young. This is so tragic.

His feet hurried down the stairs. As he grabbed his keys, he turned to Bella. "Remember what we talked about today? Now's the time. I'm going to need you."

She stood up and nodded as I stood up with her.

"I am going too. I don't want Bella out of my sight, ever."

Alice along with the rest of the family, were already out waiting by his car and my Volvo.

"We are going too. You will need us after this," Alice said as she ushered Bella and me along with her and Jasper into my car, and the rest into Carlisle's.

Once we arrived at the hospital, he immediately took us up to the ICU. About four nurses were standing outside the room. Another doctor was just inside with the patient. The crash cart stood at the ready just outside the door.

The girl's parents stood just outside, away from the nurses. They were clinging to each other tightly as the doctor that was in the room came out. He immediately went straight for Carlisle.

"She is on one hundred percent oxygen at the moment, white blood cell count is skyrocketing, and her fever has spiked to one-oh-three point five. I am afraid the cancer has taken its toll on her body. Her parents have signed a DNR form. Once her heart stops, they want nothing else done. The want to end her suffering."

Carlisle nodded as he looked to Bella. He opened the door, letting her walk in first. To the normal bystander, it just looked like he was taking a moment before he went in. As the door closed, our family waited until the family and nurses looked away, and then we quickly slipped into the girl's room.

Carlisle stood off to the side of the bed. He was looking down at the girl, a sad expression etched across his face.

"Hope, do you remember me telling you about a special lady? The one that we have to keep a secret between me and you?"

Hope slowly nodded her head as Bella made her way to the girl's bed. Bella placed her hand on top of the girl's head as she grabbed her hand to hold.

The girl quietly whispered to Bella, "It is true what he says then? You are an angel?"

"That I am, sweet girl. Would you like some proof? I wouldn't want you to think I am fooling you." Bella's wings shot out, slowly spreading open for the young girl to see.

Hope gasped as her eyes grew wide. "I've always believed in angels. I knew there had to be something good in this world after all." She squeezed Bella's hand more tightly in hers. "I know, despite what my parents want to believe, that my time here is up."

Bella slowly nodded, exhaling slowly as her eyes scanned my family. "Tell me about yourself? I want to know everything about the future angel I am sending to heaven." She smiled down at the girl, wiping away a lone tear that had escaped the girl's eye.

"I am nine years old, and I have had Leukemia for most of my life. First diagnosed when I was just three. I was lucky once, went into remission when I was five, but when I turned seven the cancer came back. I was told I had a fifty-fifty chance then." Her voice grew more quit, almost coming to a whisper. "Chemotherapy was the worst and the radiation even more. I hated to feel sick every day."

Hope's blood pressure dropped a little bit as her heart rate faltered. Her breaths became shorter, her eyes a little bit duller as she looked up at Bella with a half smile. "Are you going to take me to heaven now?" she asked, clutching her sheets as the heart monitor beeped in the background.

All of my family's eyes fell on Bella as she placed her small hands onto the girls chest. "I want to save you, give you a life you so justly deserve to live. But I know deep down you are done fighting. Your soul hurts–I can feel it in your heart with every beat it struggles to put out." Bella breathed in deeply as she looked at me, her eyes burning into me gathering her strength. "Everything that you want heaven to be, it will be. I know you have no fear, and for that I admire you. You are a strong little one."

Hopes labored breaths came out more slowly as she whispered to Bella, "I want to just go home."

Bella glanced over to the window that was directly behind her. Here eyes stared down whatever was out there. I looked through the window hoping to see whatever she was staring down.

The black hooded figure was back.

Bella climbed onto the bed, grabbing a hold of hope as she brought her into her arms, holding her tightly. Her wings shot up and around the small, frail girl.

"You will go home now, sweet girl. And you will make the sweetest angel." She plucked a feather from her own wings and placed it into Hope's left hand as her heart monitor flatlined. Bella's wings encircled the small girl as we all saw a white light shoot out from between her feathers. The room went completely quiet.

I watched as Bella lay with the girl for a few moments more. Her eyes wandered over to the glass window. The black hooded creature was gone once again.

Carlisle was the first one out of the room. As he went and spoke to the family, we hurried out of the room, hoping to not be detected by the staff or family of the girl. Luckily no one was the wiser as we made our way out of the hospital.

Carlisle left the family to say goodbye in peace. When he met us down by our cars, he immediately embraced Bella as he whispered thank yous and told her how amazing she was while she helped the girl.

It seemed we were all in awe of her and what she was capable of when it came to her duties that still bound her to heaven. It struck me then, that such good things did in fact come out of horrible circumstances. Hope may have suffered, but Bella took her pain away as she made her feel whole for the last few minutes of her life. I only hoped that she was happy wherever she was, and that she finally got to be the kid that she deserved to be with no horrible sickness holding her back.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett got into his Mercedes as the rest of us got into my Volvo. Carlisle decided to follow me down the highway towards our home.

We were about halfway home when I noticed that the chief of police's car was turned over in the road with a huge dent in the front fender. The windows were shattered, and the roof was pretty much caved in. I stopped the Volvo, put it into park and looked up. The hooded figure stood just in from of the chief's car, his sword at his side. My eyes followed Bella as she made her way to the chief's car. When I looked back over to the hooded figure, he was gone once again.

Soon after, Carlisle pulled up behind me. His eyes searched the wooded area.

There's a sweet smell, Edward. The creature was here?

I nodded as I walked up behind Bella. When I reached her, she just shook her head. The chief of police had passed on. Just as her wings shot out into a protective embrace around the chief's body the black hooded figure was back. We couldn't see his face, eyes or anything that would give him away. All we had was his smell, voice and pattern of breathing. He was a secret, an anomaly that needed to be eradicated from our lives. No further complications to throw at us. Something just didn't seem right with this creature, and with the way Bella stared him down, I had to wonder if there was more she should have been telling me.

She quickly wrapped her wings more tightly around the chief, and the same blinding white light that we saw when she sent Hope's soul up to heaven happened again. But before I could warn Bella, or even register what his next move would be, he had swung his sword, clipping Bella's wings, which caused blood to seep from the wound and a few feathers to fall.

"You took a soul that wasn't yours. You took it from me! And now dear angel, you will pay."


	13. Chapter 12 Heading Into Darkness

A.N: I am sorry for the wait. I just want you all to know that AHB is almost completely written, and hoping to update at least the remainder of the chapters every two weeks or so. Providing my kids and husband allow me time to do so. I can't thank you enough for being patient with this story. I hope you all are still enjoying it. I suffered with a lot of writers block with AHB, but you guys will soon see what came from that writers block. I will be posting a NMAU soon. I won't post until completely written. It's looking to be about 15 chapters in all. As well as a AH fic with an olderward and deaf Bella that I hope you guys will stick around to read. Now, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the update!

Any mistakes are my own.

Thank you to my beta, Tiffanyanne3!

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. I just play in SM's world.

*.*

The smell of my angel's blood hung in the air as her eyes stayed on mine, open wide, showcasing fear.

Gabriel made no move towards her, his sword outstretched in the direction the area creature was last seen. He stood there, unmoving, breathing in heavily, his heart pumping dangerously fast.

I watched as blood dripped onto the ground as Bella sat there like a statue. It wasn't until Alice made a move to approach her that Gabriel looked at her, shaking his head, muttering words of a language long past its time to be known to the modern world.

Aramaic, I am guessing.

"Child, look at me!" Gabriel somewhat shouted. "I want you to get up, fold your un-injured wing into yourself and walk toward me."

Bella slowly did just that, slowly coming out of the somewhat stupor that she was in due to what had just happened. I ached to run to her, hold her, run my hands over every bit of her body, just to make sure she was hurt no where else.

Her injured wing spanned out, limply swaying as she walked, feathers ruffled at the sight of the wound.

As she walked past me, her hand shot out, slowly grasping me, silently telling me she was okay.

Michael walked over to her and Gabriel with a flask that had liquid sloshing around inside of it. I watched as he uncorked the metal flask; and brought out a white cloth and doused it with the liquid. It smelled of lavender and some sort of bark. It gave off a sweet aroma as well, kind of like honey.

"Hold still, young one. This may burn," Michael said softly as he dabbed her open wound. Her face scrunched up as the liquid hit her skin, and I watched the skin as it started to sew itself back together, the blood drying up.

"That should do it. Now, little one, please go back with the others. Michael and I are going to see if we can track after the hooded one. Please, be patient and wait. We will talk then," Gabriel said before he followed Michael past the treeline that the hooded creature had last gone through.

Bella stood on the side of the road, arms crossed as she looked on. I slowly walked up to her, wrapping my arms around her, laying my head on her shoulder as I kissed her cheek softly.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded, but didn't say anything in return.

"We should head back and wait for their return. I need to talk to Gabriel." She said with a slight quiver in her voice. She tried to hide it, but the fear was still there nestled in her voice.

It was hours before Michael and Gabriel returned. The clock had just chimed six times, signaling it was morning. Bella paced and would not sit still until we heard the front door open. She immediately shot up from where she was sat next to me to run up to Gabriel and Michael, encasing them both in a strong hug.

"Calm down, little one. Let us rest," Gabriel said as he held onto Bella's hand before sitting down, Michael soon following.

I knew she needed to be next to them,next to her kind. But I was aching for her, especially now that the hooded creature was getting closer and closer.

Everyone was sitting, waiting for what the Arch Angel's had to say and what the next move would be on our part as well as theirs.

Emmett was shouting over and over in his head that no one messed with his little Bella. He was jonesing for a fight.

Rosalie was another matter in itself. She just wanted this all over with.

Poor Esme was worrying about Bella, wanting to mother her and make sure she was alright. She quietly got up, and ran her hand down Bella's hair before kissing the top of it. It was her way of comforting. It was the only thing she could think to do at that moment.

Carlisle was formulating plans, wondering how to approach the situation.

Jasper, of course being the man he was, was in full military mode, his mind full of the best way to attack the creature, wondering what the hooded creature's weaknesses could be.

But Alice was something entirely different. She was fretting, searching the future for any glimpse of the situation, how it would play out, if it would all be okay. The only thing that I saw flashing in her mind was a snippet from a time long ago, the lost language being spoken, and an angel with long black hair being stripped of his wings. I looked over at her; she just sat there wringing her hands in nervousness, shaking her head back and forth as images swam through her head.

All I could do was do my best to be near Bella. As her mate, all I wanted to do was protect her. Even if she was the one that was technically doing the protecting. I still had the strong urge to protect what was mine.

I looked up to find the angel's whispering quickly to one another. I heard quick snippets of words, nothing making sense to me. I guessed they were yet again talking in Aramaic. They all looked distressed.

I knew then; that nothing good was going to come from whatever happened next. The angel's did not have good news.

Bella stole a glance at me, her eyes full of fear, worry and love. I had the urge to just grab her; and run away. Anything to protect my mate.

"I think it would be safe that none of you go out and hunt on your own. Maybe go in groups of three. I only ask that you take one of us along with you. You will need us, and only us, if you come across the hooded one again," Bella said, looking around the room at each of us.

We all nodded, waiting for more information.

"I need to know Alice, what do you see of the future? Anything?"

Alice looked over towards Michael; and nodded. "I have only seen one thing, but I'm not sure if it is the future or the past. I usually can only see future events, things set in motion that are meant to happen. But what I keep getting glimpses of does not make any sense to me."

Michael looked over at Gabriel, muttering something low in Aramaic. The others shaking their heads, Gabriel looking off to the side.

They knew something. And from their body language, it was something they didn't want to know.

"Care to share with the rest of us?" Rosalie rudely called out.

Michael's head snapped up, his eyes forming slits as he looked at Rosalie. "Surely, you are capable of patience?"

"Michael, calm down. This concerns them all."

Michael nodded before speaking. "Before we get into darker subjects, Carlisle, do you happen to have some nightshade? Maybe some jimsonweed weed and lavender? Or Do you know where I could possibly find some? Maybe even some hemlock?"

Carlisle stood up and started to head up to his office. "I believe I do, but let me make sure. If not, I am sure Jasper knows where to find some on the Internet"

"And my dear Esme, could you find me some honey and the darkest coffee grounds you have?" Esme nodded, walking off towards the kitchen.

What could they possibly need those things for? And why?

"Edward," Bella whispered, "I need some of your venom. Are you able to collect some for me?" She handed me a small metal container, leaving me puzzled as to why she would need it.

"Just trust us, please. Trust in me, Edward"

I left the room and put the flask up to my mouth, trying to think of anything to conjure my mouth to fill with my venom. Blood, hunting-anything. A few minutes later the flask was full of my venom.

I entered the living room. Everyone was quiet as Carlisle returned downstairs with his arms laden with everything Michael had asked for.

"I don't know if its enough, but it's what I have. You are welcome to it. If you need more, I'm sure we can find a way to get some. But can I ask what all of this is needed for? All of these things that you asked for have poisonous attributes," Carlisle said, looking over at Michael.

Esme came in with the honey, and coffee grounds, setting them down on the table.

"To answer your question Carlisle, we need this to concoct a salve to coat our swords and wings in order to protect you. Edward's venom will be the strongest to use on the tips of our swords, since he is essentially the one she is protecting. He's connected to the angel using it. Make sense?"

Carlisle looked back at Michael, curiosity shining in his eyes. "It does, somewhat. I still don't understand, but we trust you."

We watched on as the angels mixed the concoction together, making a somewhat sticky substance. They each filled individual flasks in case they needed more. They lightly coated their swords, laying them down to dry on the table. Bella took out the flask that held my venom and handed it back to me. "I can't let a drop of it touch me; you will have to coat the tip of our swords. I thank you for allowing us to use your venom, your life force."

I applied each tip with a dab of my venom before closing the flask and handing it back to the angels.

They sheathed their swords once more and looked around the room at each and every one of us. Gabriel was the one to speak.

"You all must promise is to have one of us with you if you go hunting or leave your domain. We will not be able to protect you otherwise. The darkness you face is real, and its fathomless. You all have been told you can only be destroyed by another vampire ripping you apart, but that no longer holds truth. That creature, the hooded one, can kill you with just a touch."

"How is that possible? We're immortal," Jasper asked.

"Because, the hooded one possesses things no creature should. He is true evil, a true monster."

Bella stepped forward, grasping my hand in her own and squeezing lightly.

"Remember when the hooded one said Bella had stolen his soul?"

We all nodded.

"What can take souls and use them for power?" Gabriel inquires, his eyes passing over each of us.

"The reaper?" Alice asks, softly.

"Something like that" Michael whispers.

"You know that sweet smell Edward smelled? Only the Devils children can smell that sweet. Or, well, if you want me to be honest, there is one other thing that can smell like that creature did."

"What was it then?" Carlisle asked.

"The hooded one is one we know well. We have seen him before, but not for over few hundred years. Not since the latest battle with the Nephillim."

And then it hit me and suddenly made sense. I looked over at Bella, and she knew that I have put it together.

Before I realized it, the words were out of my mouth.

"He is one of The Fallen."

*.*

A/N: I honestly can't wait to get your thoughts on this update! I very much look forward to each and every one of your reviews! Thank you for taking the time to read!


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